IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph gives the details of changing modules of local access to contemporary technology in the UK between the years of 1996 to 2003.

The line graph gives the details of changing modules of local access to contemporary technology in the UK between the years of 1996 to 2003.
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The graph illustrates the
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of the public who have access to contemporary technology in the United Kingdom from 1996 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 CD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the most used tech items throughout the period. Meanwhile,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 was the least used technology at that time.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, home
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
was rising
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradually reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly 60% in 2003.
While
Linking Words
 mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
beinning
Correct your spelling
beginning
 at below 20%,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it keeps
rise
Change the form of the verb
rising
show examples
 slowly,
then
Linking Words
 started to grow
significanitly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 in the late 90s and reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 peak about two-thirds in the end. In 1996, the
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
CD
Add an article
the CD
show examples
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 was at 60% and it kept
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
skyrocket
Wrong verb form
skyrocketing
show examples
 till
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 reached above 80%.
While
Linking Words
 access to the internet started late in 1998 and it was used in humble numbers but its
grow
Wrong verb form
grown
show examples
 dramatically
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 percentage in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 time and almost 45% of the UK locals
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 access to the internet
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of millennia.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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