IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The world of work is rapidly changing. Employees cannot depend on having the same work or same work condition in life. Discuss possible causes and suggest way to prepare for people to work in future.

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Nowadays, the world witnesses many changes in jobs and its environment. And, that causes various levels
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 employment. in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss some of the causes and suggestions for
work
Use synonyms
 in the future. Recently, some
carrers
Correct your spelling
carriers
careers
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 high qualifications and skills.
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 critical thinking,
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
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 solving, time
manegment
Correct your spelling
management
in addition
Linking Words
 to
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
computer using
Add a hyphen
computer-using
show examples
 skills.
As a result
Linking Words
, there will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition between
workers
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 will lead to good achievement of many tasks.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in some
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
places
Add a comma
places,
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 there are different technological devices which can be used to help the employee to do their job easily.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are some companies
provide
Correct pronoun usage
that provide
show examples
 different facilities which ensure a good environment.
For example
Linking Words
, a lounge where
workers
Use synonyms
 can relax
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
heve
Correct your spelling
have
 different beverages and play games.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 places considered to be not attractive and the consequence will be that missions will not be completed. To illustrate, when there is no promotion or appreciation for
workers
Use synonyms
 that may make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
delay in the
submision
Correct your spelling
submission
 of the tasks required from them.
Also
Linking Words
,
unavailability
Correct article usage
the unavailability
show examples
 of computers or enough offices for
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 might affect the progress
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. The different
work
Use synonyms
 conditions have
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
influnce
Correct your spelling
influence
 on worker performance and
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
,
therefore
Linking Words
, here are some suggestions which may help in these cases. First of all, there should be a
unifed
Correct your spelling
unified
 system for employment, which
preserve
Correct subject-verb agreement
preserves
show examples
 their rights and at the same time
ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
show examples
 the completion of tasks.
Second,
Linking Words
timing
Add an article
the timing
show examples
 for all jobs should follow the same range between 7-8 hours a day
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
this
Linking Words
 will help to achieve more goals.
Next,
Linking Words
there must be rewards for good
workers
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to a good working place.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports your argument effectively. Improvements can be made in structuring your points more logically.
language
Focus on improving your grammar and spelling, as this will lead to clearer communication of your ideas.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to support your main points more effectively. This will strengthen your arguments and engage the reader.
task achievement
You have identified relevant causes and provided suggestions that are pertinent to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which contributes to overall coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence
  • job roles
  • low-skilled jobs
  • globalisation
  • job stability
  • gig economy
  • remote work
  • work-life balance
  • irregular hours
  • demographic changes
  • migration patterns
  • continuous learning
  • re-skilling
  • cultural shifts
  • flexibility
  • purpose in work
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