Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate.

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Museums
Use synonyms
are the place where historical
artifacts
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artefacts
show examples
and art are displayed . Some individuals argue that
museums
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should be fun and entertaining
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
for
visitors
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, others think that the primary role of
museums
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is to educate
people
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.
This
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essay will discuss both views in detail and explain why the ideal approach is to strike a balance between education and entertainment. On the one hand,
people
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believe that
museums
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should be entertaining so that more
people
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visit them . If
museums
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are fun and exciting , they can attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young
people
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and their families .
For instance
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,
Jurassic
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the Jurassic
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park
Correct your spelling
Park Museum
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museum
Use synonyms
or
science
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Science Museum
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museum
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often
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
hands-on activities and games to teach scientific ideas and rules in
a
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an
show examples
interesting way.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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if the
visitors
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enjoy their visit, there is
high
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a high
show examples
probability to come back or
to
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apply
show examples
tell others about these
museums
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and it can help
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museum
Add an article
the museum
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to earn more money and continue to operate .
On the other hand
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, individuals argue that
museums
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are educational institutions which
halp
Correct your spelling
help
people
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learn about
history
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, culture or even art.
For example
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,
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history
Correct article usage
a history
show examples
museum
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teaches us about past events , ancient
civilization
Fix the agreement mistake
civilizations
show examples
and important
people
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's life and creation.
This
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halp
Correct your spelling
help
helps
visitors
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understand
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history
Add an article
the history
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of
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the orld
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orld
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world
better
and
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apply
show examples
learn from past mistakes and avoid
such
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mistakes in the future. Because of
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this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
they believe
museums
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should focus on educating rather than entertainment . All in all, I firmly believe that
museums
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should teach
visitors
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about
history
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and culture
while
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making it interesting and making
this
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experience enjoyable.

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task achievement
Try to develop your main points further by providing more specific examples and details.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences that connect to your thesis statement, which can enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is commendable and shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states the purpose of your essay and outlines the main points, which helps guide the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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