IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

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These days individuals continuously do
things
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 that they used to without considering other options ahead.
This
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 particular behaviour probably happens
due to
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 their personal experiences and
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
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 that occurred in response to a dynamic change
of
Change preposition
in
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 society around them. I believe that taking
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
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 of trying something different is something that could expand our value regarding our
society
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society's
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 life as human beings
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while
Correct word choice
but
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 it
also
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 comes with several significant drawbacks. Nowadays,
people
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 are finding a sense of convenience in their life,
for example
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 when a person is trying to order
food
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, considering the taste, and price, she or he will choose the same menu just simply based on her or his convenience.
People
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 tend to think that I will not spend money on
food
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 that I have ever tried.
In addition
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 to that,
people
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 share common features of eating when they are doing an overseas trip,
which
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apply
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they prefer to consume Indonesian
food
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due to
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 their lack of
experience
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in
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with
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 other country’s
food
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to an absence of advanced knowledge.
On the other hand
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, trying something distinct refers to a new testimony in spite of the result not
as
Add a missing verb
being as
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 good as we
expect
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expected
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 but
satisfaction
Add an article
the satisfaction
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 of experiencing makes you learn something different and it is
worthy
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worthwhile
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.
For instance
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, individuals who never
deal
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dealt
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 with a work interview will prepare themselves to face it, and when they fail to do that,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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gained
Wrong verb form
gain
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experience
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 that can be used for another ahead. Learning new
things
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 through
experience
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 will lead to the best value for yourself.
While
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 the feeling of losing or reaching any challenge could make you even down, you still have the chance to recover and end up with another valuable
experience
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 ahead. In conclusion,
although
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 there are several drawbacks, I believe that
people
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 are created to
experience
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 a lot of
things
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 regardless of the variety the world could offer. Experiencing new
things
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 will influence you to be a better version of yourself and cause you to embrace a real situation in society.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced analysis of both attitudes in the introduction to give a clearer overview of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied linking words to enhance the flow of ideas and improve transitions between points.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on the specific drawbacks of trying new things to create a clearer contrast with the advantages.
task achievement
The essay presents a thoughtful discussion of both attitudes towards new experiences and familiar comforts, which indicates good engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, allowing for logical progression of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Routine
  • Comfort zone
  • Risk-taker
  • Risk-averse
  • Enrichment
  • Personal growth
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Stability
  • Tradition
  • Habit
  • Familiarity
  • Personal enrichment
  • Life stages
  • Fulfilling
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