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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.
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The provided diagram illustrates the information on how
honey
Use synonyms
 is produced, from the birth of the
honey
Use synonyms
bees
Use synonyms
 to the production of
honey
Use synonyms
 and its distribution. From an
overall
Linking Words
 point of view, it can be observed at the beginning
bees
Use synonyms
 are left alone to start the production stages and it is after that when companies take part and start harvesting.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, as shown in the picture, a queen bee lays eggs which after 3 days form the larva and after a week, they are completely grown into
honey
Use synonyms
bees
Use synonyms
. It takes three weeks after the
last
Linking Words
 stage for the
bees
Use synonyms
 to get ready and leave the hive
to begin
Linking Words
 collecting nectar from flowers. At
last
Linking Words
, before the process restarts, nectar is left in the hive to give out
honey
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the production begins with removing the honeycomb from the hive and taking action towards extracting its liquid, using machines.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the
honey
Use synonyms
 is boiled, filtered and poured into jars to be transported and sold.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, to begin".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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