IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

eople have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. Write about advantages and disadvantages of each view point?

People
Use synonyms
 have different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 about
jobs
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer staying in the same
job
Use synonyms
, others prefer to change
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 frequently. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I describe
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages.
People
Use synonyms
 who prefer to do the same
job
Use synonyms
 in one company often have
Use synonyms
stability
Replace the word
a stable
show examples
 salary and
life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
job
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 better understand their tasks and can move up on
career
Correct article usage
the career
show examples
 ladder more easily.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can meet different
people
Use synonyms
 in their field and have good connections.
People
Use synonyms
 who prefer to
changes
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 often have
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 feel good in new places and join
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the new team more easily.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
changes
Change the verb form
change
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 more engaged in
work
Use synonyms
 because it is always something new.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 type of
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of different connections from previous places that can help in
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
job
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 who
staying
Change the form of the verb
stay
show examples
 in the same
job
Use synonyms
 may burn out and lose interest in
work
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stability
Use synonyms
 in salary and
life
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 often quit their
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it becomes difficult to find a new
job
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who always worked in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 because now it is boring for them.
In addition
Linking Words
 in some
situations
Add a comma
situations,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 become too old or injured and can not
work
Use synonyms
. For
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer changed
jobs
Use synonyms
 can be hard to take the same salary or position in
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 or team.
Moreover
Linking Words
 new
job
Use synonyms
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
 more harder or have some different priorities or rules. In
general
Add a comma
general,
show examples
 it influences
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stability
Use synonyms
 in
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and may have bad consequences. In conclusion, for
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer staying in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 or often change
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 may be different pros and cons because
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the one hand it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can help avoid burnout and gain
stability
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 everything can be the other way around and
people
Use synonyms
 can
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 or
work
Use synonyms
 can become boring which will bring instability.

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coherence
Try to expand your introduction by stating the topic clearly and outlining your main points. It will give context to your essay.
coherence
Make sure to include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and enhance clarity.
task achievement
Ensure that each idea is fully developed with explanations. Some points feel a bit rushed and need more detail.
task achievement
You present a good range of ideas on both sides of the topic.
coherence
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, reflecting a balanced perspective.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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