In modern times young adults spending more time with their friends and less time with family. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In contemporary society, there has been a noticeable shift in the amount of time children spend with their families versus the time they allocate to socializing with their friends.

This

Linking Words

change can be attributed to various factors, including the influence of technology, changes in family dynamics, and children’s increasing independence.

While

Linking Words

some argue that parents should compel their children to spend more time at home, it is essential to explore the underlying reasons for

this

Linking Words

trend before drawing any conclusions.

yektaghandi.78Wed Feb 19 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and relevant supporting details.

task achievement

Add specific examples to support your points more effectively, particularly in discussing technology and family dynamics.

task achievement

The introduction clearly outlines the topic and acknowledges differing opinions, setting a solid foundation for the essay.

coherence and cohesion

The essay demonstrates good logical structure, with a clear flow of ideas that are easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

80 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Digital connectivity
Peer interaction
Independence
Generational gap
Societal norms
Nuclear family
Extracurricular
Urbanization
Mobility
Social development
Counterproductive
Balanced lifestyle
Interpersonal relationships
Personal space

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, there has been a debate related to public health. There might be some people who insist that public money should be put more into treatments of patients, while other parts of society believe that allocated funds for public health should be spent to prevent illnesses before they occur or get severe, and I am personally in the same opinion with this view.
8
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe that it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
The wide range of courses available in tertiary institutions constitutes a tempting incentive for many students to investigate them as a hobby. Many argue this will arm them with a more comprehensive toolkit while others, including me, believe that college students ought to concentrate on their particular path if they desire a bright future.
6.5
band
The plans below show the side of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year
The two maps illustrate the current layout of Southwest Airport and the plans for next year’s construction.
7.5
band
some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are best at or find most interesting. discuss both views and give your own opinion
There are a number of individuals who feel that teenagers should focus on every subject in school, including ones they aren't particularly interested in. On the other hand, another citizen believes that youngsters should pay attention to the area of study that embodies their talents. I am going to scrutinize both aspects in further paragraphs before forming an opinion in the last.
7
band
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific reasearch, business and the academic world. Other believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some individuals think that sharing a lot of data in scientific research like business and the academic globe is good. But other people claim these data are too essential or worthy to be shared without paying the cost. I agree with this idea.

In modern times young adults spending more time with their friends and less time with family. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe that it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

The plans below show the side of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year

some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are best at or find most interesting. discuss both views and give your own opinion