IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In today's competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed. Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications? Explain the reasons and provide specific examples to support your answer.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Employees need to have more than one ability to be accepted for a specific job. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
to
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 is important to have relevant secondary education
while
Linking Words
 others think it is important to possess a good personality. I fully agree that
further
Linking Words
 education is the best option and will discuss my reasons in the
esseay
Correct your spelling
essay
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are occupations that require
personal
Replace the word
personnel
show examples
 to be sociable. These types of jobs normally
intail
Correct your spelling
entail
 employees to
work
Use synonyms
 with
people
Use synonyms
 and clients.
People
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in sales have to be extroverts and need to know how to socialise with other
people
Use synonyms
. When clients need information or want to buy a car for a sales consultant they need to be friendly and enjoy conversations with others.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some jobs
aquire
Correct your spelling
require
acquire
 individuals to have good social abilities to make
custumers
Correct your spelling
customers
 comfortable.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 not all jobs
work
Use synonyms
 with the public and directly with
custumers
Correct your spelling
customers
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, to obtain a
sensable
Correct your spelling
sensible
show examples
 career it would be best to have relevant secondary qualifications. Most career paths need a person with the proper qualifications to
optain
Correct your spelling
obtain
 a certain job. Doctors and Accountants need to study in order to
work
Use synonyms
 in the industry.
A nurses
Correct the article-noun agreement
Nurses
show examples
 and
physiotherapist
Fix the agreement mistake
physiotherapists
show examples
 need to have
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 to help their patients properly
therefore
Linking Words
, a degree is utterly imperritive in these types of career paths and social skills
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not high on the list of
neccesities
Correct your spelling
necessities
. Social skills would be of little use in these types of
cercumstance
Correct your spelling
circumstance
circumstances
 and an employer would not even think it is relevant. in
Concusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is a positive attribute to have a bright and enthusiastic personality and would make life easier.
However
Linking Words
, Having a qualification gives a person the upper hand in
optaining
Correct your spelling
obtaining
 a job in most
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 FIX THE AGREEMENT MISTAKE fields It seems that
field
Correct article usage
the field
show examples
 may not agree in number with other words in
this
Linking Words
 phrase. show examples of
work
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay has a more balanced discussion of both skills. While you are in favor of qualifications, acknowledging the importance of social skills, even briefly, would provide a well-rounded argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy, especially with subject-verb agreement. Phrases such as 'the proper qualifications to optain a certain job' can be clearer by ensuring consistency in pluralization and avoiding typos.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will help in creating a clearer logical flow between your points.
Task Achievement
Your introduction presents a clear stance on the issue and outlines your argument well.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples, particularly in the healthcare field, highlighting the necessity of qualifications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: