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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table shows the percentage of government expenditure on health care in five countries in 2006 as well as the proportions of 24-30-year-olds working in medical services. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the percentage of government expenditure on health care in five countries in 2006 as well as the proportions of 24-30-year-olds working in medical services. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph gives the proportion of government spending on health care, and the
number
Use synonyms
 of 24-
30-year-olds
Correct your spelling
30-year-old
 people, working in medical services in the selected
countries
Use synonyms
 during 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of government expenditure through five
countries
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 ranged from 5% to 27% in 2006. The average age group of people,working in medical industries was from 25 up to 54.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 Italy reached the highest
number
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 of health care spending, which was way larger than the rest of the
countries
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion from Poland remained the lowest, including only 5% of the cost of health care.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 from Finland, Iceland, and Spain share a similar situation, which is in the middle standard of spending, ranging from 9 to 13 per cent.
According to
Linking Words
 the figures, Poland had the highest
number
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 at 54%, which was closely followed by the figure from Italy in 2006.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Spain came in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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third place by having 34% of the people. The
last
Linking Words
 two
countries
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, including Finland and Iceland both showed a smaller proportion of a particular age group in medical services.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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