IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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The
education
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 plan can include added
subjects
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 which are not a required part of speciality. Some
students
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 do not mind learning optional
subjects
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in addition
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 to a main program so that it can extend their erudition,
while
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the
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apply
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others would like to focus on only
subjects
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 which concern their chosen profession.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the topic and give my personal opinion
why
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on why
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 universities should give a choice to
students
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. Historically, people who have
the
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apply
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higher
education
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 were intelligent men or women from rich families having extended knowledge in history, philosophy, literature and so on. It allowed them to understand and express their thoughts clearly. Nowadays, a tradition of studying philosophy in any profession remains in major universities.
Moreover
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, a Doctor
Philosophy
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of Philosophy
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 degree refers to
this
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 heritage.
On the other hand
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, it takes more time and sometimes money to study optional
subjects
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 than studying only the main program.
Moreover
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, most
students
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 learned
such
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 disciplines in their previous
education
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 as well.
For instance
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, literature at the middle school. So
this
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 practice can be considered
as
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apply
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less useful than focusing only on topics concerning their chosen profession, especially in case
then
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students
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 have to pay for it. In conclusion, extending the main
education
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 program
by
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with
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 optional
subjects
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 allows
students
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 to improve their soft skills, but at the same
time
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time,
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 it requires more time and financial spending. In my opinion, the academic syllabus should be flexible enough so that it can allow each student to choose or give up additional
subjects
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.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, particularly regarding how optional subjects can contribute to a student's overall education.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed with clear connections between your ideas to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a logical introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You successfully highlighted the historical context of education and how it relates to the discussion about optional subjects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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