Giving birth to children at an older age is now considered a better option for many young adults. There are plentiful reasons behind this decision, which is having impacts on community and the life of families.

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Giving birth to

children

Use synonyms

at an older age is now considered a better option for many young adults. There are plentiful reasons behind

this

Linking Words

decision, which is having impacts on

community

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the community

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and the

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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of families. There are two main reasons why people nowadays decide against having

children

Use synonyms

at a young age.

Firstly

Linking Words

, rather than embarking on parenthood early, many people choose to focus on building their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

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This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that when you are young, you have more energy, time and abilities to pursue your dream because you do not have to spend your time

Change preposition

apply

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taking care of your

children

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or family. The second reason is that young adults are financially

instable

Correct word choice

unable

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to raise kids. The living costs are becoming more expensive

therefore

Linking Words

, people find it more struggle to nurture

children

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when they are not in a high economic status. They prefer to

working

Wrong verb form

work

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a few years in order to have a small

saving

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savings

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account before having kids.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

tendency may have negative consequences in terms of society and family life. Having

children

Use synonyms

after 35 years old carries more potential health risks to the mother. The child

that is

Linking Words

given birth may be exposed to some unwanted diseases

such

Linking Words

as Down’s syndrome. These

children

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can be a burden to the community and affect the quality of the future workforce.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is harder to be pregnant at an older age, so there are chances that they cannot even have

children

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after all. It can have

impact

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an impact

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on the happiness of a family when they have money and

career

Correct article usage

a career

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but the

trade off

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trade-off

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is that there are no kids. In conclusion, having

children

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later in life may be reasonable in some ways

bit

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but

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it can have

negative

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a negative

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effect on individual families and

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society at large.

dangkimngan19062001Sat Feb 22 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points, especially in discussing career focus and financial instability; this will strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use smoother transitions between ideas to enhance flow; for example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could help connect your points.

coherence and cohesion

Clarify the relationship between the negative consequences and the reasons for delaying parenthood; this will improve the logical flow of your argument.

task achievement

You presented clear reasons for the trend of having children later, effectively addressing the main topic.

task achievement

Your essay covers important aspects of the issue, showing an awareness of both personal and societal impacts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Giving birth to children at an older age is now considered a better option for many young adults. There are plentiful reasons behind this decision, which is having impacts on community and the life of families.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Nowadays a few people take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a Business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages on them and on their family?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in seprate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion