IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more imporant. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Everyhing
Correct your spelling
Everything
 has its own significance. Nothing should be undervalued or overvalued whether it is learning or proficiency. Both the issues have their own relevance for different people.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 personally opine that
education
Use synonyms
 has an edge over experience. The following essay will elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 viewpoint and opinion. No doubt,
Knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 is the most powerful weapon, which you can use to change the world.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we are starting learning from our childhood and gaining valuable knowledge from our parents and grandparents. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 we learn from schools and universities, So
education
Use synonyms
 is the most significant thing in our lives and always stay with us for our whole
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, When we
completed
Wrong verb form
complete
show examples
 our
university level
Add a hyphen
university-level
show examples
 study we have more career opportunities because nowadays many multinational companies hire
an employees
Correct the article-noun agreement
employees
an employee
show examples
 with a higher
education
Use synonyms
. They focus mostly on
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
study
Replace the word
studies
show examples
. In order to justify the viewpoint, it can be said that without
education
Use synonyms
 we do not know what new inventions are
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
. We can learn about
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 technological
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
show examples
 when we read or
studied
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 them.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Education
Use synonyms
 brings confidence and better
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 skills
However
Linking Words
, some people believe that experience and other skills are important. I believe capability has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own benefits because we can learn valuable knowledge when we can practically do that work rather than only read about
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
. There are various beneficial skills we have to learn to be
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
person
Change the noun form
people
show examples
 like communication, leadership, teamwork and many more. From the analysis of
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 arguments, it can be concluded that both aspects discussed above have their own values and worth. In my opinion,
education
Use synonyms
 has more benefits than experience and it cannot be ignored.

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your main ideas and is grammatically correct. Avoid using phrases like ‘in my opinion’ too early in the essay. Instead, state your thesis clearly at the end of your introduction.
coherence
Try to improve the logical flow of ideas in your paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases effectively to connect your thoughts and maintain coherence throughout the essay.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, when discussing the benefits of education or experience, you could reference particular fields where education or experience is crucial.
content
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which is commendable for task achievement.
coherence
Your conclusion summarizes your viewpoints well, clearly stating your preference for education over experience.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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