IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an aparment?

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People are often divided on the housing
preferances
Correct your spelling
preferences
. Some
argues
Change the verb form
argue
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 that living in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 is more advantageous,
while
Linking Words
 others tend to prefer an apartment as their residence. I subscribe to the belief that
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
convient approch
Correct your spelling
convenient approach
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living than
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
the apartment
show examples
. I would like to defend my position in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, comparatively, the
house
Use synonyms
 is more spacious. It gives enough area for your family time, if an individual
have
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has
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 a large family.
For instance
Linking Words
, kids can perform outdoor activities in the backyard, like different sports.
Moreover
Linking Words
, family members can park their cars in the front, without worrying about parking
spot
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spots
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a large living room is a perfect fit
to watch
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for watching
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 television
in
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at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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night after a long day.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, one can have extra rooms for guests, as houses are usually multi-bedroom residential properties.
In addition
Linking Words
, people can follow their hobbies of gardening around the
house
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, because they plant various plants in the spring. The biggest problem of living in the apartment is the height. If you have
a
Remove the article
apply
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acrophobia,
aprtments
Correct your spelling
apartments
 are not the right
chocie
Correct your spelling
choice
 for you.
Besides
Linking Words
, it is not the best idea to reside with the toddlers in the building.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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times of earthquakes, living in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 is always safer than
aprtments
Correct your spelling
apartments
. In
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, more space is a better way of living with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large family, as it provides enough
feild
Correct your spelling
space
 to spend time with family members. Safety is another considerable point to show
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument more clearly in the introduction. If you feel strongly about houses, you might mention specific advantages in your opening argument that you will discuss later.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words or phrases to smoothly connect your ideas. This will help your writing flow better and make it easier for the reader to follow your points.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, elaborating on the gardening example could provide a clearer picture of the benefits of living in a house.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic and defend it throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your structure is identifiable with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a strong aspect of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • residential preferences
  • property ownership
  • private dwelling
  • shared facilities
  • urban vs suburban living
  • customization
  • sustainability
  • appreciation of property value
  • real estate market
  • housing tenure
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