IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Mrs. Barrette, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs. Barrette. In your letter suggest how you could help her in her home why you would like to do this work when you will and will not available

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Dear Mrs. Barrett, My name is Wanchanok. I’m writing to you
since
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 I’ve seen the advertisement
noticed
Verb problem
apply
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to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
someone who help you in your home for a few hours a day
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
next summer. I think my expertise
align
Correct subject-verb agreement
aligns
show examples
 with your
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
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 the period of time
is match
Wrong verb form
matches
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with
Change preposition
apply
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my available schedule. I would like to get
this
Linking Words
 job
due to
Linking Words
 it
is match
Wrong verb form
matches
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
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my competency and hobby. I have
an
Correct article usage
apply
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experienced
Replace the word
experience
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about
Change preposition
in
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 doing household work
about
Change preposition
for about
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 2
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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 since I studied
master
Change noun form
master's
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 degree in
British in
Replace the word
Britain
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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 after I finished the
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
. The main responsibilities are cleaning the floor, washing clothes, watering the plants,
organize
Wrong verb form
organising
show examples
 the messy stuff in the house and cooking for their children sometimes when the nanny
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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 leave. I can do all of
Linking Words
this task
Fix the agreement mistake
these tasks
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 and other else which we can discuss
further
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, one thing that I cannot do is
cleaning
Wrong verb form
clean
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 the bathroom because
I
Add a verb
I am
I was
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sensitive
with
Change preposition
to
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 some components in
bathroom’s
Correct article usage
the bathroom’s
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 cleaning agent. I hope to
working
Change the verb form
work
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 with you and look forward
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Change the word
your
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 response. Best Regards, Wanchanok Sakundarachart

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task achievement
Consider revising the opening sentence to improve clarity, for example, 'I am writing to respond to your advertisement seeking someone to help you in your home this summer.'
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for small grammatical errors, such as 'few hours a day next summer' instead of 'a few hours a day in next summer.'
coherence and cohesion
For improved logical structure, grouping your tasks under a clear point can enhance readability. Consider separating your availability into its own paragraph.
task achievement
The letter expresses a clear desire to assist Mrs. Barrette and provides relevant experience, which adds to the persuasiveness of the application.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and respectful, aligning well with the context of the message.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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