Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs are not suitable for women. What is your opinion ?

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While

Linking Words

some people believe that both genders are equal and

women

Use synonyms

are able to do any job, others hold a view that they are not comparable

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

so there might

some

Add a missing verb

be some

show examples

inconvenience for

women

Use synonyms

in certain job

fields

Use synonyms

. I firmly agree with the statement that

women

Use synonyms

should avoid

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

certain work

areas

Use synonyms

that might require more responsibility than they can cope with. Since there are not only physical difficulties but

also

Linking Words

mental challenges

in particular

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work spaces,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that

women

Use synonyms

should take these into their

considerations

Fix the agreement mistake

consideration

show examples

. First and foremost, there are several specialities

Change preposition

in that

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

we might experience gender diversity

such

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as healthcare, education,

journalism

Correct word choice

and journalism

show examples

to name just a few.

While

Linking Words

some certain

areas

Use synonyms

are

women

Use synonyms

-dominated

fields

Use synonyms

namely education, there are too many

fields

Use synonyms

mostly male-dominated like IT and technology. It is obvious that some

areas

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as engineering, agriculture,military and construction sites tend to be predominantly male. Considering that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

these

fields

Use synonyms

burden

women

Use synonyms

with more duties than they can manage and so these

fields

Use synonyms

are not common

preference

Fix the agreement mistake

preferences

show examples

between them.

However

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

more patience and empathy than men and so these

phsycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

physiological

features contributed to certain

fields

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

are more interested in child development not only nurturing but

also

Linking Words

teaching them.

Additionally

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

face physical challenges in strength-intensive jobs

such

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as manual

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

which

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they have to lift heavy materials or

operating

Wrong verb form

operate

show examples

heavy machinery.

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

that, space exploration is another field that

challenging

Add a missing verb

is challenging

show examples

beceause

Correct your spelling

because

of intense G-force exposure and long-duration isolation from your family and relatives which have impacts on

both

Correct pronoun usage

you both

show examples

mentally and physically. Many

women

Use synonyms

experience verbal abuse from their male

collegues

Correct your spelling

colleagues

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct word choice

which

show examples

affecting

Wrong verb form

affects

show examples

their mental well-being.

In addition

Linking Words

, the dual burden of professional and domestic responsibilities might lead to burnout.

For instance

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, a female doctor working long shifts may struggle with expectations to

also

Linking Words

manage household duties. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

have several advantages in certain

areas

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as teaching and child development ,they

also

Linking Words

might face

obtacles

Correct your spelling

obstacles

in particular

Linking Words

areas

Use synonyms

because of physical and mental differences between genders.

dr.nazilaguliyeva.18Sun Feb 23 2025

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Task Achievement

Focus on providing a balanced argument by including perspectives that support women's ability to work in any field they choose. This will strengthen your task response and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Refine the structure of your paragraphs to ensure that each one contains a clear topic sentence that aligns with your main argument. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on grammatical accuracy and ensure that all sentences are structured clearly. For instance, in sentences like 'However, women shows more patience and empathy than men', the verb should be 'show'.

Task Achievement

You have clearly identified your opinion and main arguments, demonstrating critical thinking about gender roles in the workplace.

Task Achievement

You included relevant examples, which adds depth to your arguments and engages the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

The inclusion of various sectors where gender disparities exist shows a good understanding of the topic's complexity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender equality
workforce
diversity
business outcomes
female leaders
perceptions
gender roles
societal norms
stereotypes
human potential
job suitability
physical attributes
skills
qualifications
passion
male-dominated fields
engineering
military
leadership roles
breaking down stereotypes
encouraging diversity

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Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs are not suitable for women. What is your opinion ?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

A REPORT INDICATED THAT MANY CHILDREN BETWEEN 7 AND 11 SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING TELEVISION AND / OR PLAY VIDEO GAMES. HOW DOES THE PROBLEM AFFECT THE CHILDREN? WHAT MEASURES CAN BE TAKEN TO CONTROL IT?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

You wish to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to the university. In your letter you should ask about: the accommodation and fees possible scholarships and the qualifications required for acceptance.

Some people think we need more female leaders to create world peace and reduce violence. To what extent do you agree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.