Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children.Do you think advantages outweight disadvantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, digital
games
Use synonyms
are very popular
amoungs
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among
amongst
kids and in entire
would
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world
show examples
children
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are playing online
games
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. Few parents think that
children
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should play computer
game
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games
show examples
while
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some parents believe that online
games
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are detrimental to
childres
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children
. In
this
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essay pros and
cones
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cons
show examples
will be discussed
further
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. Initiating with the benefits of the same, the first and the foremost key benefit is that kids can learn new
varity
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variety
of voculaboris and languages which can enhance their education level. Another positive that can
be strike
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strike
show examples
the minds of
the
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apply
show examples
people that it can boost
thier
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their
creativity, memory and concentration
level
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levels
show examples
.
For instance
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, some
games
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like
mindcraft
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Minecraft
in which
children
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can design whatever they want,
built
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build
show examples
or create new things. On its dark side, some of the drawbacks which make it problematic are first spending long hours on online
games
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can
damgae
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damage
their eyesight and
also
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cause some serious health issues.
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Secondly
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Secondly,
show examples
it became very
addicetive
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addictive
due to
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which they cannot
peform
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perform
well in academics.
For example
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, in
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
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article
artical
Add a comma
artical,
show examples
almost 50% of
children
Use synonyms
in India are suffering from
migrain
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migraine
migraines
,
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
show examples
and sleeping sickness. In conclusion to the above statement,
i
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I
show examples
strongly believe that
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
outweighed
outweigh
outweight
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outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
because
children
Use synonyms
should play outdoor
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
rather the online
games
Use synonyms
which can escalate
the
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apply
show examples
stamina and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
body growth

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task achievement
Improve your introduction by clearly stating your opinion on whether advantages outweigh disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your ideas to make connections clearer between paragraphs and within paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Revise spelling and grammar to make your ideas clearer (e.g., 'among' instead of 'amoungs', 'children' not 'childres', etc.).
task achievement
You identified key benefits and drawbacks of computer games, showing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example of a game that enhances creativity (Minecraft).

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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