IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Recent decades have witnessed tremendous economic development.
Due to
Linking Words
this
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 growth , migration is introduced in every society .
People
Use synonyms
 move from one place to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 for superior opportunities. There are many pivotal causes behind
this
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 which will be discussed in
this
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 essay briefly . First and foremost , urbanisation is the main cause of
people
Use synonyms
 moving from their hometown
enermous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 cities .
Altough
Correct your spelling
Although
,
people
Use synonyms
brought
Add a missing verb
are brought
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 rural towns
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they prefer to live in cities to earn
theri
Correct your spelling
their
 livelihood because they get
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better chances for
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, In small villages , there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no big industries and multinational companies ,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
 of
this
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 educated adults are
preffering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 living in urban areas .
Moreover
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 ,
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 medical is
avaiable
Correct your spelling
available
 in cities which is
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 moving . As we know , 85%
human
Change preposition
of human
show examples
 beings are sick today . So ,
people
Use synonyms
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
places where all things are
accesiible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 easily . There is no denying
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
 that "an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure" .
Further
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 , because of the internet ,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 become easier to know about foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 . Their education , lifestyle , work scope and many
things
Correct word choice
other things
show examples
. Nowadays ,
people
Use synonyms
 would like to move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 to settle over there .
For instance
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 , study visas
accelerate
Wrong verb form
have accelerated
show examples
 in
asian
Change the capitalization
Asian
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
decade . Students go to
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 to get higher study rather than their own city .
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
last
Linking Words
 but not least , for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 bright future ,
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
adults migrate
fron thir
Correct your spelling
from their
hometown
Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
show examples
 to other places . The main cause of
this
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 is the
availbility
Correct your spelling
availability
 of vast facilities.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your main points and thesis statement to frame the essay effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Organize paragraphs more clearly, and use linking words/phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points more effectively, as generic statements may not fully illustrate your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents relevant ideas regarding migration.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Relocation
  • Hometown
  • Economic opportunities
  • Career advancement
  • Higher education
  • Job prospects
  • Quality of life
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Coastal environments
  • Cultural opportunities
  • Recreational opportunities
  • Migration
  • Political issues
  • Environmental factors
  • Social issues
What to do next:
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