Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

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Visiting
places
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that are considered to be difficult to live in has become more popular recently. I personally believe that
this
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activity can be both enjoyable and life-threatening for the visitors. There are some clear advantages that
people
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can get from
this
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kind of tourism.
Firstly
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, they can get a new experience of going to a
place
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that
are
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is
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completely different from the
place
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they live in.
In other words
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,
people
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can get out of their comfort zone of living in a city and try new extreme activities to broaden their horizons.
In addition
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, because
people
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can see
places
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that they usually see only on the
internet
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Internet
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, they will appreciate these
places
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more.
As a result
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, they might become more aware of the beauty of nature and they might help spread awareness to protect
the
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apply
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nature.
For example
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, visitors to
the
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apply
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antarctica
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Antarctica
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can help spread photos to make other
people
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realize that the ice caps are actually melting and something needs to be done.
However
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,
this
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activity is undeniably risky at the same
time
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.
This
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means that a trip to a dangerous
place
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could become a disaster if something goes wrong in the process. The difficult environment, too cold or too hot, might make
people
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get sick during the trip, and it would be difficult to send a rescue mission when something like
this
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happens.
In other words
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, evacuation might take
time
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since access to these
places
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is difficult. A journey to the Himalayan mountains is a good example. In the past, some climbers passed away because the rescue team could not get to them on
time
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due to
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the harsh weather and blizzards in that
place
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. In conclusion,
although
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there are some positive things that tourists can get, I think that at the same
time
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, the danger cannot be ignored.
People
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may get some precious travelling experience when they do
this
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.
However
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, they might
also
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die if something unexpected happens in a
place
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that is
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difficult to reach.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, but you might want to rephrase the thesis to make it more assertive about your view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
In the second body paragraph, consider using additional linking words or phrases to enhance the logical flow of ideas. For example, 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' could help in transitioning to additional points regarding the risks of difficult tourism.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, adding a bit more detail or a range of examples could strengthen your argument. For instance, you could mention other harsh environments or specific incidents that illustrate the risks involved more vividly.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view of the benefits and disadvantages, showing clear consideration of both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Your use of vocabulary is generally good, with appropriate terms related to tourism and risk, which displays a solid command of language.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is well-organized with clear paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of your argument, making it easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking landscapes
  • unique ecosystems
  • sense of adventure
  • personal growth
  • indigenous cultures
  • environmental conservation
  • climate change
  • environmental degradation
  • economically disadvantaged areas
  • physical health
  • harsh weather
  • difficult terrain
  • limited access to medical facilities
  • fragile ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • basic amenities
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