IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country. Write your response not less than 250 words. You get 40 minutes to complete this task

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In order to seek
for
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apply
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a quality school or workplace,
people
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 have increasingly chosen to travel abroad in various vital times. It offers both benefits and drawbacks.
While
Linking Words
 they can seize new opportunities and gain unique experiences, some may receive
discriminations
Fix the agreement mistake
discrimination
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 and live in difficult conditions. On the one hand, many
people
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 fleeing to other nations earn plentiful career promotions and undergo independent life. If employees are not promised
with
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higher positions and salaries, they are unlikely to depart from their homeland and arrive
at
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in
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 a new country where they have to compete with the local workforce.
For instance
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, many Vietnamese citizens accept to go to more developed nations like Korea or Japan to pursue similar jobs in Vietnam but with a much higher wage which they transfer back to sustain their families' basic needs.
Under
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From
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 the perspective of students, they travel abroad to study and experience a new modern life in the open world.
On
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In
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 gap years, they desire to get out of their
safety
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safe
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 area in
homeland
Correct pronoun usage
their homeland
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 and go sightseeing before they are restricted to family responsibilities.
On the other hand
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, they are not treated well enough by the locals and even do not manage to survive. When travelling to a country
in
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for
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 the first time,
people
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 might
do
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not get used to other
cutlures
Correct your spelling
cultures
 and annoy
people
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 born there.
Hence
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, local citizens are going to criticize and isolate those newbies, and some even attempt to force foreigners to leave. Another prime disadvantage of
this
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 trend is that newcomers may not perform well enough for new jobs and,
consequently
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, get less money or even
fired
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be fired
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. In that case, they are in challenging financial situations and will not be able to pay for basic needs like food or
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, which might lead to their deaths in foreign places. In conclusion, living abroad for work or study poses not only advantageous but
also
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 disadvantageous effects.
Although
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 many
people
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 will move up
in
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their career ladder or try on an independent life, they might still be discriminated against by others and find difficulties in survival.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the clarity of your paragraphs by ensuring each one focuses on a single main idea. Consider using clearer topic sentences to introduce the main point of each paragraph effectively.
task achievement
Improve the grammar and vocabulary to make your ideas flow better. For example, instead of 'If employees are not promised with higher positions', consider rephrasing it to 'If employees are not offered higher positions'.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of living abroad, which shows good critical thinking.
task achievement
There are some relevant examples, such as the story of Vietnamese citizens moving to Korea or Japan, which help to illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersion
  • adaptability
  • global awareness
  • marketable
  • international network
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural barriers
  • homesickness
  • social norms
  • visa
  • housing
  • work ethic
  • economic conditions
  • job stability
  • quality of life
What to do next:
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