An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

The world is very different today
and
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, and
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that includes how
children
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live. Many
children
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nowadays are overweight, and
this
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is a serious
problem
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.
This
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also
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means that when they are
older
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older,
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they will have terrible health issues and high health costs.
This
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essay will examine why
do
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apply
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I think so many
children
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are overweight and what could be done to solve
this
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problem
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. I believe that
children
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today are overweight
because of
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for
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many reasons.
First,
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many
children
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eat junk
food
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.
Also
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, they drink
sugar
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sugary
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drinks and shit
instead
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of
drink
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drinking
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water.
Second,
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one of
biggest
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the biggest
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things
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Correct pronoun usage
that lead
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lead
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leads
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the
Correct article usage
a
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person to be overweight
it
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apply
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is
lazy
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being lazy
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.
Children
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spend too much time on the phone or computer .
Moreover
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,they don’t play
out doors
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outdoors
show examples
or do sports because they are lazy.
Finally
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, some parents do not encourage healthy
food
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or
to do
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doing
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sports, so
children
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follow
same
Correct article usage
the same
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things
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that lead to bad
things
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for their health.
On the other hand
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, there are several solutions to help these
children
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.
First,
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eat healthy
food
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. It is very good for the body.
For example
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,
children
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should eat more fruits and vegetables. They should eat less junk
food
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and sugar.
Second,
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one of the most
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things
Correct word choice
important things
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to lose weight and be healthy is to do exercise.
For example
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,
children
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should play outdoors every day.
Also
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, do sports every day. It will help
children
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to stay healthy and fit.
Finally
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, parents should teach their
children
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about good hobbies that will make their
life
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lives
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healthy.
Also
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,
school
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schools
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should teach them about
healthy
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a healthy
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lifestyle.
Moreover
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,
this
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will help them to be better in future. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are many reasons responsible for the child obesity
problem
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.
However
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, there are a number of good solutions to fix
this
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problem
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.
being
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Being
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overweight is a big
problem
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for
children
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.

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grammar
Improve grammar to make sentences clear and correct.
cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly (First, Next, In addition, However).
content
Give more clear examples to back your points (not only general ideas).
style
Avoid slang or rude language; keep a neutral tone.
structure
Plan your essay before writing with a simple outline: intro, two body parts with two points each, conclusion.
grammar
Check spelling, punctuation, and capitalization.
idea
The essay shows a clear topic and basic plan.
structure
There is an introduction, body, and conclusion.
content
Some useful ideas are used about causes and cures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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