An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

The world is very different today

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

that includes how

children

Use synonyms

live. Many

children

Use synonyms

nowadays are overweight, and

this

Linking Words

is a serious

problem

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

means that when they are

older

Punctuation problem

older,

show examples

they will have terrible health issues and high health costs.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine why

Verb problem

apply

show examples

I think so many

children

Use synonyms

are overweight and what could be done to solve

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

. I believe that

children

Use synonyms

today are overweight

because of

Change preposition

for

show examples

many reasons.

First,

Linking Words

many

children

Use synonyms

eat junk

food

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, they drink

sugar

Replace the word

sugary

show examples

drinks and shit

instead

Linking Words

drink

Wrong verb form

drinking

show examples

water.

Second,

Linking Words

one of

biggest

Correct article usage

the biggest

show examples

things

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

that lead

show examples

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

person to be overweight

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

lazy

Verb problem

being lazy

show examples

Children

Use synonyms

spend too much time on the phone or computer .

Moreover

Linking Words

,they don’t play

out doors

Use the right word

outdoors

show examples

or do sports because they are lazy.

Finally

Linking Words

, some parents do not encourage healthy

food

Use synonyms

to do

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

sports, so

children

Use synonyms

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

things

Use synonyms

that lead to bad

things

Use synonyms

for their health.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are several solutions to help these

children

Use synonyms

First,

Linking Words

eat healthy

food

Use synonyms

. It is very good for the body.

For example

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

should eat more fruits and vegetables. They should eat less junk

food

Use synonyms

and sugar.

Second,

Linking Words

one of the most

Use synonyms

things

Correct word choice

important things

show examples

to lose weight and be healthy is to do exercise.

For example

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

should play outdoors every day.

Also

Linking Words

, do sports every day. It will help

children

Use synonyms

to stay healthy and fit.

Finally

Linking Words

, parents should teach their

children

Use synonyms

about good hobbies that will make their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

healthy.

Also

Linking Words

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

should teach them about

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will help them to be better in future. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are many reasons responsible for the child obesity

problem

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, there are a number of good solutions to fix

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

being

Fix capitalization

Being

show examples

overweight is a big

problem

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

alfred

Feb 24, 2025

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grammar

Improve grammar to make sentences clear and correct.

cohesion

Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly (First, Next, In addition, However).

content

Give more clear examples to back your points (not only general ideas).

style

Avoid slang or rude language; keep a neutral tone.

structure

Plan your essay before writing with a simple outline: intro, two body parts with two points each, conclusion.

grammar

Check spelling, punctuation, and capitalization.

idea

The essay shows a clear topic and basic plan.

structure

There is an introduction, body, and conclusion.

content

Some useful ideas are used about causes and cures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

Some people think sports are important for society, while others believe they should be taken as leisure activities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that no one should work after the age of sixty-five while others say that they can work as long as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?