IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Somefamilies people believe that children who are brought up in which don't have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up in wealthier families. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Some people reckon that inculcating of bringing up children should be done better in
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
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famlies
Correct your spelling
families
while
Linking Words
 detractors believe that
money
Use synonyms
 brings more moral values . I
personally
Add a missing verb
am personally
show examples
 , in the favour of first notion and will briefly elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 view in
this
Linking Words
 essay .
Firstly
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 , people do more
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 in
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
families
Use synonyms
 to get their livelihood .
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, children's become more diligent by seeing their guardians doing work .
Secondly
Linking Words
 , They get limited
resousces
Correct your spelling
resources
 because of the shortage of
money
Use synonyms
 . From
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childhood
Add a comma
childhood,
show examples
 they try to achieve big and become more successful .
For example
Linking Words
 , In
india
Change the capitalization
India
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 most of the
families
Use synonyms
 are living below squat income , but data
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
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 that most of the bureaucrats ,
doctors
Correct word choice
and doctors
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are coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from these kinds of
Use synonyms
families background
Fix the agreement mistake
family backgrounds
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 of the shortage of resources or
money
Use synonyms
 , they all tried to live
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one home called
joint
Correct article usage
a joint
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 family .
Hence
Linking Words
 , spend time with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 and
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
show examples
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
show examples
 less
depreesion
Correct your spelling
depression
, enormous motivation , honesty , value of kindness
instill
Wrong verb form
instilled
show examples
 in them . On the other side , crime is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the major detrimental
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
grow
Correct pronoun usage
that grow
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from
money
Use synonyms
 .
For instance
Linking Words
 , In
asian
Change the capitalization
Asian
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countris
Correct your spelling
countries
, if people
caught
Add a missing verb
are caught
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 by police for any kind
trouble
Change preposition
of trouble
show examples
 , they can be easily free by offering some
money
Use synonyms
 .
However
Linking Words
 , problems are unknown for the kids , who are growing up in wealthier
families
Use synonyms
 . They get everything easily
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they want .
Hardwork
Correct your spelling
Hard work
, moral things ,
relationships
Correct word choice
and relationships
show examples
 are unknown words for them .
To conclude
Linking Words
 , I would suggest that if we get everything in our hands in two minutes
then
Linking Words
 we cannot become good
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in our life .
Little
Add an article
A little
The little
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 amount of starvation is vital for human development.

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coherence
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors. Improve vocabulary and sentence structure for clarity.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion in your introduction, which sets the stage for your argument.
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