IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 line chart depicts the percentage of the population who are 65 years old and above, in the period time 1940 to 2024 in three different regions United States,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
. It is clear from the graph that the US and
Sweden
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased slightly,
while
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 was around 60 years
between
Correct word choice
old between
show examples
 1940 and 2000 are remained the same
declined
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the
old
Correct quantifier usage
number of old
show examples
 people in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 has been climbing from 2000 to 2035.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and the USA are waving amount during that time.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 region
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 not reported long period time about any drop
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the people aged 65 and above,
however
Linking Words
 US and
Japan
Use synonyms
 which are
reprsented
Correct your spelling
represented
 approximately 20 years or higher of the decreasment.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, japan with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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