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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the consumption of three basic foods (wheat, maize, rice) by people in four different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the consumption of three basic foods (wheat, maize, rice) by people in four different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 table depicts, from four different countries
Use synonyms
Cambodi
Correct your spelling
Cambodia
,
Poland
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,
Egypt
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 and
Mexico
Use synonyms
 the consumption of three kinds of
food
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wheat
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,
maize
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, and
rice
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. It is clear from the graph that,
Use synonyms
Cambodi
Correct your spelling
Cambodia
,
Egypt
Use synonyms
 and
Mexico
Use synonyms
 have
a higher calories
Correct the article-noun agreement
higher calories
a higher calorie
show examples
 in the special kind of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Poland
Use synonyms
representing
Wrong verb form
represents
show examples
 zero calories per person.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rice
Use synonyms
 is the main
food
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
Cambodi
Correct your spelling
Cambodians
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
approximately (1445),
while
Linking Words
wheat
Use synonyms
 is around (18) and
maize
Use synonyms
 is (103). On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand,
Poland
Use synonyms
 with
rice
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 is used (19),
wheat
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 is the higher type that represents (865) and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maize
Use synonyms
never
Add a missing verb
is never
show examples
 used (0).
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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Egypt
Correct article usage
the Egypt
show examples
 region
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
blanaced
Correct your spelling
balanced
 between
rice
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 and
maize
Use synonyms
 but,
wheat
Use synonyms
 is around (1095).
Lastly
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
Mexico
Add a comma
Mexico,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maize
Use synonyms
 is the most
food
Use synonyms
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is (1083) calories per person / day .
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that, regions
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
prefer kinds of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as :
Use synonyms
Cambodi
Correct your spelling
Cambodia
 like
rice
Use synonyms
, on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand
Poland
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 and
Egypt
Use synonyms
 with
wheat
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 and,
Mexico
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 the famous
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Maize
Use synonyms
 .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cambodi, poland, egypt, mexico, food, wheat, maize, rice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • basic foods
  • staples
  • dietary preferences
  • agricultural output
  • nutritional intake
  • per capita
  • predominant
  • subsistence crops
  • culinary habits
  • food security
  • statistical overview
  • consumption patterns
  • comparative analysis
  • domestic production
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