IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years
payment
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 the rise of digital technologies has trans fo wied
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trans the
transthe
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the
 way people make purchases with these innovations, carrying has become less necessary Lash I will examine in
this
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 essay why currency payments are likely and whom to disappear may face disadvantages denying
this
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 transition from my point of view. provide with newer methods more possibilities that cash cannot offer.
For example
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, using credit cards and
payment
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 apps on smartphones eliminates the need for physical wallets. These changes are convenient and have already become popular among the young generation.
However
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, many older individuals still prefer
payment
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 and they have not adjusted to the new technologies.
Although
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 mobile payments and digital Systems are common older generation perceives them as less secure and reliable There is
also
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 a fear of making mistakes and suffering financial losses when using these systems. Unless these issues exist, digital payments will not be able to replace
payment
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 entirely. In conclusion,
although
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payment
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 methods offer benefits, not everyone will be quick to adopt them. I believe that the older generation is particularly resistant to them 7 making it unlikely that
payment
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 will be completely replaced in the near future

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coherence and cohesion
Consider restructuring the introduction to clearly outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This will help set the reader's expectations from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, summarize the key points discussed rather than introducing new ideas. Reiterate your viewpoint to reinforce your position on the topic.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points about the benefits of digital payments and the concerns of the older generation. This can help strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay has error-free sentences; reviewing your sentence structure and grammar will enhance clarity.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion on the topic and acknowledged differing perspectives, which is a great way to address task response.
task achievement
The essay addresses key arguments for and against the transition to cashless payments, showing awareness of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
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