IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

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Health
Use synonyms
services
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 are very important for every person,and some private
health
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 corporations have made these
services
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 expensive for
people
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.I think
,
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apply
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merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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 are more than the demerits of
this
Linking Words
 trend. To commence with the negatives of expensive private
health
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services
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 that,
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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unaffordable treatments are provided by private
health
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services
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companies
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 to the
people
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.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
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faces
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face
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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to take
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taking
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 the
services
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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private
companies
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due to
Linking Words
 their highest prices
of
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for
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 treating
pateints
Correct your spelling
patients
 and, it is not easy for
people
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 to afford the higher amount of bills
of
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for
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 medicines,appointments and other medical expenses.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the second demerit is a lack of experienced staff.To explain it, some private hospitals
hires
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hire
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 only fresh candidates without concerning their previous experience to cut off their salary costs.
Further
Linking Words
 shifting towards the merits of private
health
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services
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, the first and foremost benefit is
that
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apply
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, the availability of
doctor
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doctors
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.To explain it, private hospitals have the facility of more doctors ,
people
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 are being treated by doctors within less time in the situation of an emergency ,and medical staff have their rotating shifts for 24 hours. Afterwards , private
health
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services
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 are quick for
people
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. To more on it,
people
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 get online appointments at
anytime
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any time
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 from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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,which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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helful
Correct your spelling
helpful
 to save the waiting time of the
people
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, facility of advanced machines in private
health
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 corporations to treat
people
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,
some
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and some
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companies
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 installed expensive modern treatment
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 to cure some ailments
such
Linking Words
 as cancer,surgery and so on. These
services
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 are helpful
to provide
Change preposition
in providing
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 effective treatment to the victims of harmful diseases. In conclusion, there are some negatives of private
health
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services
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such
Linking Words
 as unaffordable and less experienced staff members ,
while
Linking Words
 benefits are more of these
health
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companies
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 as they have more doctors, quick
services
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 and advanced
euipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your thesis and the main points you will discuss. Consider revising your introduction for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Transition between paragraphs can improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the relevance and make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You provided a well-defined argument supporting your viewpoint, which is crucial in IELTS essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay contains a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cutting-edge technology
  • highly skilled professionals
  • patient experience
  • outcomes
  • personalized care
  • healthcare practitioners
  • competition
  • standards
  • government burden
  • public funds
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disparities
  • profitability
  • over-treatment
  • neglect
  • non-profitable cases
  • ethical concerns
  • financial status
What to do next:
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