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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The line graph illustrates the unemployment ratio in America and Japan from
March
Use synonyms
 1993 to
March
Use synonyms
 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the figure shows an opposite trend.
While
Linking Words
 the US unemployment
rate
Use synonyms
 declined
shraply
Correct your spelling
sharply
 in
6-year
Add an article
a 6-year
the 6-year
show examples
 period ,
however
Linking Words
, Japan's
rate
Use synonyms
 grew gradually in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 timeline. In
March
Use synonyms
 1993, the unemployment ratio in America was at its peak
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 7 %,
then
Linking Words
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 to decline significantly until
March
Use synonyms
 1995. Between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 of
March
Use synonyms
 1995 and
March
Use synonyms
 1997, the percentage remained steady, After that, the
rate
Use synonyms
 declined dramatically again till the end of the period. Meanwhile, nearly 2.4% of Japan's
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
 were unemployed in
March
Use synonyms
 1993,
then
Linking Words
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 started to increase gradually. By March1996, the proporsion
becames
Correct your spelling
becomes
became
stabilize
Wrong verb form
stabilised
show examples
 and had continued its stability for the next 3 years. In
contract
Correct your spelling
contrast
show examples
, by
March
Use synonyms
 1998, the
rate
Use synonyms
 skyrocketed and surpassed the USA reaching
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 4.6% in
March
Use synonyms
 1999.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words march, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • graph
  • trend
  • changes
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • findings
  • observations
  • data
  • statistics
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