IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the percentage of jobless workers
im
Correct your spelling
in
 the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
 of America and Japan from
March
Use synonyms
 1993 to
March
Use synonyms
 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the graph shows
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oppsite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 trends.
While
Linking Words
 the unemployment rate declined dramatically in the US in 6
year
Correct your spelling
6-year
 period,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, Japan's rate increased significantly and surpassed the USA in
March
Use synonyms
 1999. In
March
Use synonyms
 1993, 2.5% of
Correct article usage
the Japaness
show examples
Japaness
Correct your spelling
Japanese
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 jobless,
then
Linking Words
 the ratio
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to rise sharply, and reached 3.5% in
March
Use synonyms
 1996. After that, the rate decreased slightly in one year,
however
Linking Words
, the ratio grew again drastically surpassing America,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reaching a peak at approximately 4.5%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period. Meanwhile,
America
Change noun form
America's
show examples
 unemployment percentage
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 high by 7% in
March
Use synonyms
 1993, but
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 started to fall dramatically
untill
Correct your spelling
until
March
Use synonyms
 1995. Between
March
Use synonyms
 1995 and
March
Use synonyms
1997
Add a comma
1997,
show examples
 the ratio remained steady
then
Linking Words
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 a significant decline
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
 the years, with reaching approximately 4% in
March
Use synonyms
 1999.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words march with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • graph
  • trend
  • changes
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • findings
  • observations
  • data
  • statistics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: