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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about European people of different age groups who went to a gym once a month or more between 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about European people of different age groups who went to a gym once a month or more between 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart illustrates information about citizens in Europe of various ages, they usually
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
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 the gym
for
Change preposition
apply
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one
Correct your spelling
once
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 time or more in every month from 1990 to 2010, units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, people who are between 18 to 24 spent more time in
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
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 of nearly 60% in 2010,
while
Linking Words
 who are their
ages
Replace the word
aged
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from
Change preposition
apply
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45 to over were the lowest
of
Change preposition
at
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 almost 12%. It's obvious that the age group of 18 - 24 saw a great increase during the years 1990, 1994, 1998,2002 and witnessed a little decrease of 50% between 2006 to 2010 and went up to nearly 60%, Europeans who were 25 to 34 ages had a slight raise from 1990 to 2010 and
reashed
Correct your spelling
reached
 to nearly 40%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentages showed a slow boost of the group of 35 to 44 until 2006
then
Linking Words
 achieved a quick
growing
Replace the word
growth
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 of almost 30% in 2010, there was a steady average of those
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 45 and over after that we noticed a dramatic
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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 from 2007 to 2010 and reached to the top point of about 12%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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