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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major citites with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparison where relevant.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major citites with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparison where relevant.
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The table provides information on underground railway systems in six cities—
London
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, Paris,
Tokyo
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, Washington DC,
Kyoto
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, and Los Angeles—focusing on their opening year, total route length, and annual passenger numbers (in millions).
Overall
Linking Words
,
London
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 has the longest railway
network
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,
while
Linking Words
Tokyo
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 accommodates the highest number of
passengers
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 annually.
London
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, which opened in 1863, is the oldest metro
system
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, followed by Paris (1900).
Tokyo
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 launched its subway in 1927,
while
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 Washington DC (1976) and
Kyoto
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 (1981) opened in the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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 half of the 20th century. The newest
system
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 is in Los Angeles, which began operation in 2001. In terms of route length,
London
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 has the most extensive
network
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, covering 394 km,
whereas
Linking Words
Kyoto
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 has the shortest, spanning only 11 km. Meanwhile,
Tokyo
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's
system
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, despite being just 155 km long, serves the highest number of
passengers
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 per year, at 1928 million.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Kyoto
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, with its small
network
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, records the lowest ridership, at only 45 million
passengers
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 annually. In summary,
while
Linking Words
London
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 has the longest metro
system
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, it does not carry the most
passengers
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.
Instead
Linking Words
,
Tokyo
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, with a shorter
network
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, serves the highest number of commuters per year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tokyo, kyoto, london, network, passengers, system with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • underground railway systems
  • date opened
  • kilometres of route
  • passenger numbers per year
  • summarise
  • main features
  • comparison
  • relevant
  • oldest
  • recent additions
  • route length
  • network
  • transport
  • massive
  • annually
  • comparatively shorter
  • follows closely behind
  • lowest number
  • second highest
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