IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Every parent wants to have the best future for their children. It is often argued whether obtaining
skills
Use synonyms
 or learning a range of school lessons is more beneficial for children.
Although
Linking Words
 knowing different courses might expand a student's
skills
Use synonyms
 horizons, I believe that having
skills
Use synonyms
ease
Correct subject-verb agreement
eases
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
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rising the career ladder. From one perspective, learning a range of knowledge might
gain
Verb problem
give
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 different views to handle problems during
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professional life. In
modern
Add an article
the modern
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 world, problems are more complex than
past
Change preposition
in past
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 decades so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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people should know other
progessionseven
Correct your spelling
programs
 at least beginner level.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, companies tend to hire employee, who has knowledge about different aspects of subjects.
This
Linking Words
 has resulted
being
Change preposition
in being
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 popular to do
Add an article
a master
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master
Change noun form
master's
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degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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on
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 variety of a field. From
other perspective
Change the wording
another perspective
other perspectives
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, technology is used
nearly
Change preposition
in nearly
show examples
 every corner of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life so people do not have to do something through digitalization.
In addition
Linking Words
, students should improve their soft
skills
Use synonyms
 in the
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to outline your main argument. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to your thesis. This will enhance the logical flow of your argument.
Task Achievement
Try to incorporate relevant examples or evidence to support your points more explicitly. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Your introduction presents the topic effectively and outlines the debate well, which sets the stage for discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
You demonstrate an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is an essential aspect of this task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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