IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's era, providing adequate medical
treatment
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 is the fundamental responsibility of the government of every country.
Thus
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,
as
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a
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 section of society claims that every individual should manage the expense by
ownself
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own self
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. Others, whilst, opine that expenditure should be incurred by the ruling
authorties
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authorities
 and residents need to get the
treatment
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 free of cost.
This
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 essay intends to elaborate
both
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on both
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 the
perpectives
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perspectives
along with
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 my opinion.
To begin
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 with, spending money on the
treatment
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 for the disease is
person's
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a person's
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 own responsibility because medical
treatment
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 could be extremely expensive which might put
contrain
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a strain
 on the
economical
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economic
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 budget of
nation
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the nation
a nation
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 especially the developing one, if every medical bill will be paid by the government.
Moreover
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, people might
starting
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start
be starting
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 taking it for granted as it is free of cost. To be more specific, there would be often
visitS
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visits
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 to the
hopsital
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hospital
 for minor illnesses that could be treated at home, If more
precaution
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precautions
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 are taken by the people.
For instance
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, cold
due to
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 changing weather or minimal pain in any body parts can be treated with proper care.
On the other hand
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, it is dispensable to provide the necessary medicine or medical care, if a person
is diagnose
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is diagnosed
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 with a chronic ailment. That patient could hardly earn
to
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enough to
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meet their
Verb problem
make
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 ends meet
due to
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 financial conditions.
Thus
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, he won't be able to
affordable
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afford
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a
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an
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 expensive
treatment
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. In
such
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case
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cases
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, it is
a
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the
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 responsibility of the government to cover all the expenses to ensure that
patient
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the patient
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 is getting the cure irrespective of the financial background.
For instance
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, Canada
render
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renders
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the
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apply
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free medical services to all its
citizen
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citizens
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 as it is the basic requirement of
public
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the public
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. In conclusion, in my perspective, a balance
aproached
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approached
approach
 should be followed where both the parties bear the charges of medical service. So that, it does not put pressure on ruling bodies of the nation for their allocating
majority
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the majority
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 of public money on medical care
instead
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 of other sectors
such
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 as education or
infrastructue
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infrastructure
 and people can
also
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 value
this
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 amenity provided to them for healthy living.

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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to clearly express your stance at the end of the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next, possibly using more linking words.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your main points, especially regarding the financial impacts on individuals and the role of the government.
content
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the issue, which is a key strength.
content
Your writing demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and the importance of medical care, reflecting thoughtful consideration of the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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