IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many nations are facing the problem of declining number of students attending science subjects at university. What do you think are the underlying reasons for such trend? How can it affect these nations?

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In our modern world,
science
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 has affected our everyday lives surely, and
scientists
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 are looking every day to make our life quality better. With that being said, many young people nowadays are dreaming of becoming
scientists
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 in the future,
however
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, being a scientist is not something easy,
it's
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and it's
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 not something
that is
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 suitable for everyone, many kids are ambitious to become one, but how many of them have actually but enough effort to be one?
,
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apply
show examples
 To answer
this
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 question, we need to know what are the demands to actually study a scientific major in the university,
first,
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to enrol for a scientific major you need to have high high-school qualifications
such
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 as great grades and letters from your
science
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 teachers which many of high-school students find challenging,
also
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, to be able to study
such
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 complex major you need to have the ability to listen and discuss different opinions and a variety of new information at any time because
science
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 has new information coming out every day and if
science
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 students were not able to keep up with it, we won't have good
scientists
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 in the future.
Therefore
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,
i
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I
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 believe that
science
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 subjects and
science
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 majors in universities should keep a high level of demand and
to
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apply
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choose only the best of the best to keep
science
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 growing more in the years to come, and
i
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I
show examples
 don't think
this
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 would affect any nation, in fact, many nations nowadays are exchanging
scientists
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 between each other and
this
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 helps everyone to keep up with all the new
science
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 developments. In conclusion,
science
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 is an important major to teach in our universities
however
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, it's only right to teach those who are willing to put time and effort
to learn
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into learning
show examples
 it.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer introduction that states the main reasons for the decline in science students, as well as the impact on nations. This will help guide the reader through your argument effectively.
task achievement
While your points are valid, consider elaborating on them with more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention particular skills required in science fields or real-world implications of having fewer scientists.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing to improve the overall structure of your essay. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single idea or theme, allowing easier navigation for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation, especially with sentence fragments and run-ons. Breaking up lengthy sentences will enhance clarity and flow.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion on the importance of maintaining high standards in science education, which is a thought-provoking stance.
coherence cohesion
Your writing demonstrates a personal engagement with the topic, particularly in discussing students’ ambitions and efforts, which adds a relatable touch to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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