IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You came to know about a piece of equipment that would help you at your workplace. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter – describe the equipment – explain how it might be useful at your workplace – offer help in purchasing it

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to you about a piece of
equipement
Correct your spelling
equipment
 that would definitely
helpful
Add a missing verb
be helpful
show examples
 at our workplace. To elaborate, I would like to say that we need one big
table
Use synonyms
 for the staff
room
Use synonyms
.
As
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I noticed that employees have to struggle in the lunch break
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of
dining
Correct article usage
a dining
show examples
table
Use synonyms
. We have a lot of space to keep
this
Linking Words
 equipment in the staff
room
Use synonyms
. There is a plethora of benefits to
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
this
Linking Words
 product.
Initially
Linking Words
, office workers can keep their luggage on
this
Linking Words
table
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is convenient to
arrage
Correct your spelling
arrange
 meetings and discussions.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
table
Correct article usage
a table
show examples
, the staff
room
Use synonyms
looks
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not good so that
equipement
Correct your spelling
equipment
 will make the
room
Use synonyms
 more organized. I saw various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of dining wooden
Use synonyms
table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
show examples
 on the Amazon website that
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
fifty
Correct article usage
a fifty
show examples
 percent discount. It would be really appreciated if you
may
Verb problem
could
show examples
 purchase
this
Linking Words
table
Use synonyms
 for our company. I look forward to receiving your response. Yours sincerely, Kulwinder
kaur
Change the capitalization
Kaur
show examples
.

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task achievement
Clarify the importance of the table in relation to team efficiency and morale. Adding more details would enhance the completeness of the response.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow between sentences; for instance, use transitional phrases to create a smoother connection between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for typographical errors such as 'equipement' and 'arrage' to improve professionalism.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is appropriately structured with a clear greeting and closing.
task achievement
The identification of the need for a table in the staff room is a valid and relatable concern for workplace environment.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • state-of-the-art
  • ergonomic
  • cost-effective
  • streamline processes
  • boost productivity
  • enhance efficiency
  • high-quality
  • integrate into our workflow
  • ROI (return on investment)
  • implement
  • facilitate
  • procurement
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