While Some people argue that public grants should be spent on constructing new fast-line railways for trains between cities, others believe funding for the improvement of existing public transport. I believe the former view would benefit the citizens to a larger extent

While
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Some people argue that public grants should be spent on constructing new fast-line
railways
Use synonyms
for trains between cities, others believe funding for the improvement of existing public transport. I believe the former view would benefit the citizens to a larger extent. On the one side, the elderly population assume keeping the older transportation system provides simple services. Familiar vehicles and devices bring them a sentimental feeling,
additionally
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, they do not want to struggle with learning new things.
For instance
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, a study in Niece suggests that as France is older-populated, 90% of people are willing to maintain and fix current bus services
hence
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keeping funds to enhance hospitals. On the flip side, others
including
Correct word choice
apply
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believe technological vehicles have a limited productive age,
hence
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updated fast-line train
railways
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must be launched .
Moreover
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, with the rise of technology, some options for buying tickets online, checking the departure and arrival time, convenience and security with the cameras around the stations make the fast-train lines a more user-friendly and popular choice. A survey conducted online showed that people who travelled with these speed trains saved an average of 96 hours annually per passenger in
compare
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comparison
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to the conventional bus systems users. From my perspective, funding novel
railways
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for fast-track trains is definitely worth it since it provides more convenient , secure straightforward voyages.
Moreover
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, controlling air pollution, and traffic seems possible
due to
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less need for driving cars
hence
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car emissions decrease to a great extent. In conclusion, the support of the elderly population to fund current public transportation is understandable because of their over-reliance on sentimental values.
However
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, the majority
in
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of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society including me believe that new fast-line
railways
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between cities must be funded to provide new and higher quality and the cost of the maintenance and accident risks outweigh the benefits of running current ones.

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task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are addressed. It would be beneficial to express specific points clearly to support your viewpoint more robustly.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall coherence by using more linking phrases to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your claims, as this would strengthen your argument significantly.
content
Good effort in presenting both sides of the argument.
content
Your conclusion summarizes your points well and reflects your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public grants
  • fast-line railways
  • connectivity
  • travel time
  • economic growth
  • tourism
  • business travel
  • job creation
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution levels
  • urban air quality
  • investment
  • public transport
  • private car use
  • environmentally sustainable
  • modernity
  • future travel demands
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