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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts compare the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three diffirent diets. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts compare the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three diffirent diets. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph shows the comparison of three essential nutrients in three typical
diet
Use synonyms
 programs,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one is designed for sport, and the rest is for normal people. In general, it can be clearly seen that regardless of
program
Correct article usage
the program
show examples
, carbs
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 a majority share of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 amount
whereas
Linking Words
 fat is a small amount.
Healthy
Correct article usage
A healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 for training people needs to supply three-fifths of carbs a day
while
Linking Words
othes
Correct your spelling
others
other
 need less than 10% or 12%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 depending on the program chosen. To be specific, it accounts for 50%
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 and 40%
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
 one.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Protein in
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 had the same amount as
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
. It is followed by both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 programs at 30% and 25% respectively. Fat makes up a small number of a total of three nutrients.
Diet
Use synonyms
 programs which are not designed for sport take up the same pattern, a fifth. the rest was less
on
Change preposition
than
show examples
 a fifth, at 15%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words diet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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