IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the average earnings of people in various areas of work in one country in 2000 and 2010. The table shows the average salary for all sectors in the same year.

The chart below shows the average earnings of people in various areas of work in one country in 2000 and 2010. The table shows the average salary for all sectors in the same year.
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The bar graph displays the average annual wages
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 earn in different types of work in a specific country in the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 people working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 financial services earn high annual
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 in both
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 tourism has
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 in both specific
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
. In the
year
Use synonyms
 2000, the highest earning job
is
Verb problem
was in
show examples
 financial services with
annual
Add an article
an annual
show examples
income
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
of around
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 $120000,and the same pattern
seen
Add a missing verb
was seen
show examples
 in 2010, with approximately $135000. The lowest earning is in
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
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 sector with just $20000, in 2000, and
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 in 2010, with around $18000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the second
most high
Correct word choice
highest
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 paying job is telecommunication with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 average
over
Change preposition
of over
show examples
 $60000, and the administration and transport
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 nearly equal annual
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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, with around $40000. In
adition
Correct your spelling
addition
, retail and shops
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 annual salary just under $40000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in the
year
Use synonyms
 2010, same as in 2000, the second most earning sector is telecommunication, with
yearly
Add an article
a yearly
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 of $70000.
However
Linking Words
, the administration, transport, and retail shops
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 annual
income
Use synonyms
over
Change preposition
of over
show examples
 $40000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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