People should be encouraged to do leisure activities such as mountain climbing or sailing alone round the world, even though these activities may be dangerous, because this will help to develop their courage and confidence. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The
Correct article usage
Leisure
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
running, climbing, sailing, swimming,
skiing
Correct word choice
and skiing
show examples
, are good
activities
Use synonyms
for
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
, some
people
Use synonyms
think
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the most
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
things to do in your lifetime.
Linking Words
While others
Correct word choice
Others
show examples
are opposed to
this
Linking Words
and think, they do not need or do not care
Use synonyms
leisure
Change preposition
about leisure
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
. Foremost, I strongly agree
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and believe
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
help
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
to improve their body and be ready for
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
. I love
activities
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, after my
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
I feel great, feel more
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
and of course
tierd
Correct your spelling
tired
, but
this
Linking Words
tierd
Correct your spelling
tired
is
Correct article usage
a distinguesh
show examples
distinguesh
Correct your spelling
distinguish
distinguished
feeling,
therefore
Linking Words
, from my point of view, everyone
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
should take
time
Use synonyms
for their selves. They must try climbing and
an other
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
activity is riding
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
horse in the
mountain
Fix the agreement mistake
mountains
show examples
or on the field.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
people
Use synonyms
can go
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
camping with friends in the countryside and see new things and hear news about their lovely country.
This
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
gives
Verb problem
are
show examples
able to spend
time
Use synonyms
with
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
and get
know
Fix the infinitive
to know
show examples
new
people
Use synonyms
, get
know
Fix the infinitive
to know
show examples
nature, chat with each other during the camping and share new skills
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
theirselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
are deskilled in differently, and together
people
Use synonyms
learn new life skills
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
. During
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
the pace is unparalleled. In conclusion, I believe some
people
Use synonyms
are looking forward to
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
and
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
for
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
, of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
it is enabling
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
gain calmness and courage. I think, too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
people
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
willingness
Replace the word
willing
show examples
to have
this
Linking Words
experience. But it
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
not always easy to have
time
Use synonyms
or
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
to do
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure you have a clear thesis statement that outlines your main argument in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas logically; each paragraph should focus on a single point that supports your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas; some words were used incorrectly (e.g., 'stressed' instead of 'stressed').
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical mistakes that can distract from your message (e.g., 'usefull' should be 'useful', 'tierd' should be 'tired').
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear opinion on the topic and supports it with personal experience.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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