IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many cities, many people are living large apartment blocks. Does this accomodation have more advantages or disadvantages?

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In a lot of cities, many individuals prefer to stay in high-rise apartment blocks. In my opinion, living in large apartment complexes has more benefits
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 space efficiency and affordability as compared to its pitfalls,
such
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 as management issues.
Firstly
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, a large number of individuals are accommodated in a smaller area.
This
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 provides an opportunity for the people who live in rural areas to migrate to big cities. Which opens them up to better education and job opportunities.
For instance
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,
according to
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 Google, the rate of migration from villages to cities has increased by 37.6%.
Secondly
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, big complexes are cheaper than individual houses.
In addition
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, residents of high-rise apartments can
also
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 enjoy various amenities,
for example
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, a swimming pool, and gym at a cheaper cost.
For example
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,
according to
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 Wikipedia, an individual house costs almost four times a large apartment block.
On the other hand
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, the biggest problem is management issues. As a huge number of people are accommodated, the frequency of conflicts between them increases. Managing conflicts
also
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 leads to physical or mental trauma. In conclusion, the benefits of high-rise apartments outweigh the pitfalls, because they can accommodate a large number of individuals in smaller areas.
moreover
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, they are cheaper rather than individual houses.

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Task Achievement
Try to develop your main points further with more detailed explanations or examples. This will help to support your argument more comprehensively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all your ideas are clearly connected. For instance, when transitioning between ideas, use transition words or phrases to create a smoother flow.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion that living in large apartment blocks has more benefits, which is great for task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
You provided relevant examples to illustrate your points, which adds to the strength of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • apartment block
  • urban environment
  • space efficiency
  • enhanced security
  • shared amenities
  • social interaction
  • proximity to services
  • environmental impact
  • privacy
  • personal space
  • management issues
  • communal areas
  • social isolation
  • community dynamics
  • expensive management fees
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