IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to a company asking for a refund for something you bought from them online. In your letter include: what you bought what the problem is why you want a refund

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Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Darsh Patel. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to raise a concern and express my dissatisfaction regarding the product which I bought online from your well-known website.
Initially
Linking Words
, I would like to inform you about my product. I ordered black and white colour Nike
shoes
Use synonyms
 a week ago. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 It is my favourite pair of
shoes
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 all of my peers have the same
shoes
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I was super excited about the product. But unfortunately, when I got the
shoes
Use synonyms
, it was pink in colour and
smaller
Correct article usage
a smaller
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 size than my actual size which was very disappointing as I was planning to wear
on
Correct pronoun usage
them on
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 my birthday. Given these issues, I kindly suggest that you
can
Verb problem
apply
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give me
refund
Add an article
a refund
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 or you can send me
the
Change the word
my
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acutal
Correct your spelling
actual
shoes
Use synonyms
 of mine within 5 days as my birthday is on
following
Correct article usage
the following
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sunday
Change the capitalization
Sunday
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 which will be a week after. I trust you will take my concerns seriously and I look forward to your kind response. Yours faithfully, Darsh Patel

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to write in a more structured way, starting with a clear introduction followed by the details and ending with a conclusion.
task achievement
Double-check your spelling and grammar, particularly with words like 'actual' (you wrote 'acutal') which may confuse the reader.
task achievement
You've clearly stated the main issue and your request for a refund.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is polite, which is appropriate for a formal complaint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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