IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of household
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption in Australia and its corresponding greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of Australian households use
energy
Use synonyms
 for heating,
while
Linking Words
 cooling accounts for the least usage. Interestingly, greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
 do not always align proportionally with
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nearly two-thirds of household
energy
Use synonyms
 is used for heating, with water heating and general heating accounting for 30% and 42%, respectively.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by other appliances at 15%,
while
Linking Words
 refrigeration, lighting, and cooling each consume less than 10%, with cooling being the least used at just 2%.
Although
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 usage generally influences greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
, some variations exist. Despite being the most consumed
energy
Use synonyms
 source, heating contributes only 15% of total
emissions
Use synonyms
, ranking third.
In contrast
Linking Words
, other appliances, which account for just 15% of
energy
Use synonyms
 use, generate the second-highest
emissions
Use synonyms
 at 28%. Water heating, refrigeration, lighting, and cooling produce relatively proportional
emissions
Use synonyms
 compared to their
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, emissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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