IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In most cities and towns, the high volumes of road traffic become a problem. What are the causes of that and what actions could be taken to solve the problem?

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It is true that with the population increasing,
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems become a severe issue in many nations.
Although
Linking Words
 there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of
this
Linking Words
 trend, societies can take steps to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 potential problem. An array of causes may lead to why car accidents and
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams happen more frequently.
To begin
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 with, with the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
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, most individuals need to go to work or school ;
therefore
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, the demands of transportation
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 certain times are thoroughly inclined.
For instance
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, at 7:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m., when there are the most road
traffic
Use synonyms
 times, incidents and delays might be regular.
Secondly
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, some people are not really disciplined, they might go over the speed limit or run the red light,
due to
Linking Words
 car accidents.
That is
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, illegal
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 lead to some
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems in cities and towns. Several solutions to the phenomenon of crowded road
traffic
Use synonyms
 can
also
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 be taken by governments to solve the issue.
Firstly
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, authorities ought to complete the policy of
traffic
Use synonyms
,
such
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 as fines, to deter the citizens from doing any illegal acts.
For example
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, people who run
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 red light in Taiwan
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 should pay NT$ 600 fines to the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
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 of
transportation
Capitalize word
Transportation
show examples
. A second measure would be for governments to encourage populations to take public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 like MRT, bus, and so on.
In other words
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,
traffic
Use synonyms
 situations may be mitigated when people tend to take public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 to commute. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, various measures can be taken to address the problems that are certain to arise as the high amounts of road
traffic
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between points by using linking words and phrases effectively. For example, instead of 'Secondly,' you could use 'In addition,' to provide a smoother transition.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your ideas in the main body paragraphs. Some points could use more depth, especially the examples for traffic violations.
coherence and cohesion
Consider reformulating your introduction to present a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points you'll discuss. This clarity helps guide the reader.
task achievement
You presented a clear understanding of the traffic problems and provided relevant causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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