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Writing Samples
Band 1.5

With the incresing used and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people use the perform. What are the advantage and disadvantage of the trend?

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In today's world, thanks to
advancement
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the advancement
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 of technology, various machines are
using
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used
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 by people. I believe that it has more advantages than its disadvantages because using machines can
strenghen
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strengthen
economy
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the economy
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 and mitigate
force
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the force
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 of human labour.
However
Linking Words
, it can cause some problems
such
Linking Words
 as malnutrition issues. One notable advantage of using
technologic
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technological
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 tools skewed towards technologies is the potential
of
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for
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dynamic
Correct article usage
a dynamic
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 and innovative economy.
In other words
Linking Words
, advanced tools
such
Linking Words
 as artificial intelligence often bring fresh perspectives, creative ideas, and high energy to various sectors, including business, which can contribute to a robust labour force, supporting economic growth and development, thereby creating
more
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a more
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 vibrant and thriving economy.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly includes both the advantages and disadvantages of technology to better outline the essay's structure. Additionally, specify the problems caused by technology more thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases (e.g., furthermore, however, in contrast) to help the flow of your ideas, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples or case studies to support your main points about the advantages and disadvantages of technology, as this will strengthen your argument and provide clarity.
Positive Comment
Your introduction outlines the topic well and presents a clear opinion favoring the advantages of technology.
Positive Comment
You use complex sentences and varied vocabulary, which enhances the overall quality of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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