IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

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The diagrams illustrate the outline of the sports centre in the university right now and
it
Change the pronoun
its

It appears that the personal pronoun it should be in the possessive form. Consider changing it.

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 appearance after reconstruction.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be seen that all
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 which are already present
wil
Correct your spelling
will

If you don’t want wil to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

be untouched except for
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 gym. The size of the gym will be extended significantly.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a myriad of other buildings will be constructed in the future
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of the outdoor courts on both sides of the entrance. First of all,
changing
Correct article usage
the changing

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 room, pool, seating and reception will remain unchanged. Meanwhile, the area of the gym is going to be enlarged to the east and it will be almost twice bigger than now.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, to the east of these structures will be built a sports hall and two separate dance studios.
Whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, to the right of the entrance in the
south west
Correct your spelling
southwest

The word south west seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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 part of the map will be a cafe and changing room. On the other side, to the west of the already existing facility, a huge leisure pool will be located, covering the entire area of the outdoor courts. Notably, a sports shop and one more changing room will be situated on the south of that pool on the left of the entry.

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introduction
Consider adding a more comprehensive introduction that clearly states the purpose of the diagrams more explicitly.
coherence
Ensure that data is described logically, considering grouping related information together for better clarity.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific details or examples related to the new features being introduced, such as sizes or specific amenities in the new gym or leisure pool.
task achievement
You have clearly identified key changes and maintained focus on the main features of the redevelopment, which is critical for a task like this.
coherence
The use of transition words such as 'meanwhile' and 'first of all' helps in guiding the reader through your description effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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