IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar graph below represents data about the clubs joined by people of two different age groups at a leisure centre in a small city. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph below represents data about the clubs joined by people of two different age groups at a leisure centre in a small city. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart gives information about two groups of
people
Use synonyms
joined
Correct pronoun usage
who joined
show examples
clubs
Use synonyms
 in a small town .
Overall
Linking Words
, there are six types of
clubs
Use synonyms
 ( Gardening, photography, fitness, art, music and cycling) and groups of 25 to 35 year old and
group
Use synonyms
 of older
people
Use synonyms
. Young
people
Use synonyms
 are higher in all of the
clubs
Use synonyms
. Except the gardening have more
members
Use synonyms
 from the 55 to 65
group
Use synonyms
 . Starting with
gardening
Add an article
the gardening
show examples
 class there are around 54
members
Use synonyms
 from the
55 year
Add a hyphen
55-year
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 and just under 25
members
Use synonyms
 from the other
group
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 the only
club
Use synonyms
old
Rephrase
where old
show examples
people
Use synonyms
was having
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 more
members
Use synonyms
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
younger
members
Use synonyms
. The second
club
Use synonyms
 is photography it has the same amount of
members
Use synonyms
 in the two
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 both of them are nearly
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
45
members
Use synonyms
 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, fitness, art, music and cycling
clubs
Use synonyms
 have higher numbers of
people
Use synonyms
 of the younger
people
Use synonyms
. Starting with fitness
club
Use synonyms
 it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 around 54
members
Use synonyms
 of the younger
group
Use synonyms
 and about 50
members
Use synonyms
 of the older
group
Use synonyms
.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
club
Use synonyms
 it’s arts and it has nearly 60
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
under
show examples
 the age of 25 and around 20
members
Use synonyms
 of the old
group
Use synonyms
 . The
last
Linking Words
 two
clubs
Use synonyms
 are music and cycling and they have 52 and 64
members
Use synonyms
 of
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 respectively , and almost 50 and 10
member
Change to a plural noun
members
show examples
 of the old team.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, clubs, group, members, club with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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