Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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It is true that
misic
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music
have been becoming
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has become
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a necessary part of society with time progressing,
whereas
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some people look upon downloading songs in
illegal
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an illegal
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way as a serious issue, others refer to it as something acceptable. As for my perspective, I am in favour of the former, and the reasons will be elaborated on thoroughly as follows. Undoubtedly,
music
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has become more
approchable
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approachable
nowadays
due to
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the rapid development of
Internet
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the Internet
show examples
. Society started to
finding
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find
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free
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a free
the free
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path
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paths
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to catch
music
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sources;
therefore
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,
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music
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the music
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spread faster and wider, which can
help
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helped
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public
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the public
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be
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become
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familiar with
verious
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various
genres
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of song
show examples
song
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songs
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. Take my uncle as an example. He is a
music
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buff of classical
song
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songs
show examples
, so he downloaded a lot of
music
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through the free website
,
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apply
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and shared
with
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it with
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the
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apply
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new friends who
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also
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are also
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interested in
this
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rhythm. That
definitely
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is definitely
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a good method for him to expand his
sociel
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social
circle. On the other way, as far as I am concerned, people downloading
music
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without authorisation is criminal. It might cause the producers'
right
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rights
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be
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to be
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destroyed. To be more specific, it influences
whole
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the whole
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music
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industry because they cannot obtain the benefits they ought to have.
According to
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the
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an
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essay from National Taiwan University in 2021, the illegal downloads of
music
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took a toll on
music
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producers' income
approximately
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at approximately
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45% rate,
lead
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leading
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some artists
compelled
Verb problem
apply
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to
giving
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give
show examples
up their
career
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careers
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;
hince
Correct your spelling
therefore
,
this
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behaviour should not be
encourged
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encouraged
. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, I
am firmly believe
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firmly believe
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that
music
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should not be taken via
the
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apply
show examples
illegal
method
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methods
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because
the
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apply
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fairness and artists'
right
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rights
show examples
should be protected.

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structure
Consider revising the introduction to clearly outline the two perspectives regarding illegal downloads before stating your opinion. This will enhance the overall structure.
cohesion
Use more cohesive devices (like linking words) to better connect your ideas within paragraphs and between them.
evidence
Ensure that your points are elaborated upon with further detail and examples that illustrate your argument. This will enrich the task response.
language
Pay attention to grammar and spelling (e.g., 'music' instead of 'misic', 'various' instead of 'verious', etc.). This will improve clarity and professionalism in your writing.
task response
You present a clear opinion in your introduction, which is essential for task achievement.
evidence
You provide a personal example which helps to illustrate your point, demonstrating engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • illegal downloads
  • financial losses
  • record labels
  • decrease in sales
  • perception
  • undermine
  • upcoming artists
  • pirated
  • exposure
  • concert attendance
  • merchandise sales
  • alternative revenue streams
  • live performances
  • sponsorships
  • streaming platforms
  • business models
  • loyal fan base
  • adapt
  • mitigate
  • thrive
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