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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows information about age, average in come per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about age, average in come per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The provided table chart illustrates information that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is analysed from the following: Age, Average
income
Use synonyms
 per person and Population below
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 line that
stay
Verb problem
live
show examples
 in three states in the US (
California
Use synonyms
,
Utal
Correct your spelling
Utah
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
)
Overall
Linking Words
, in the US, a number of
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
under 18 years of age
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
live in Utal.
While
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 in
Florida
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
are
show examples
 over 60 years of age.
California
Use synonyms
 was considered that
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 the highest average
income
Use synonyms
 per person;
moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 city
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the largest population below
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 line. With regard to the table chart,
people
Use synonyms
 under 18 years old were likely
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
 in Utal. It was at 28
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
California
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
received
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
 from
aged
Correct pronoun usage
those aged
show examples
 under 18 around 17-18
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. Retired
people
Use synonyms
 were more likely to live in
Florida
Use synonyms
 at 23
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. In
California
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 city
earned
Wrong verb form
earn
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 per person
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 than 23,000$. It was the highest
income
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 below
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 line in
California
Use synonyms
 got the largest
although
Linking Words
 they earned more money than
Utal
Correct your spelling
Utah
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, california, florida, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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