Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

some folks

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that it is a proper thing for

high level

Add a hyphen

high-level

show examples

management ranks to have more wages than other

members

Use synonyms

in a corporation. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

statement as those positions

comes

Change the verb form

come

show examples

with difficult tasks.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it

involve

Change the verb form

involves

show examples

a lot of

time

Use synonyms

and

thinking

Correct article usage

a thinking

show examples

process.

High level

Add a hyphen

High-level

show examples

workers are facing several complex missions regularly. Those positions

are dealing

Wrong verb form

deal

show examples

with

Change the word

apply

show examples

wider scopes than other employees which

also

Linking Words

means that they are sacrificing the most valuable asset that they own,

time

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in some cases, the person who

fit

Correct subject-verb agreement

fits

show examples

such

Linking Words

requirements is someone who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

passed a long career steps.

For instance

Linking Words

, people who have worked for a long

time

Use synonyms

in a company are the

members

Use synonyms

who

also

Linking Words

deal with several corporation's problems in the past.

Thus

Linking Words

, their dedication is

an evidence

Remove the article

evidence

a piece of evidence

a shred of evidence

show examples

that

indicate

Change the verb form

indicates

show examples

their values for the company.

In addition

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

members

Use synonyms

allocate more resources and

thougts

Correct your spelling

thoughts

in order to

leading

Change the verb

lead

show examples

the team. It

happen

Wrong verb form

happened

show examples

because

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

responsibility

for

Change preposition

show examples

other workers

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

followed their orders.

Moreover

Linking Words

, folks

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

fill

such

Linking Words

fields have shown

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

outstanding quality and match the workplace standards.

For example

Linking Words

, managers in football

team

Fix the agreement mistake

teams

show examples

are responsible for

whole

Change the article

the whole

show examples

team,

not to mention

Linking Words

the hard

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

that they have made.

Hence

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

jobs are not an easy thing to do, at least for some community

members

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

top ranked

Add a hyphen

top-ranked

show examples

employees are experiencing several hard processes in their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

Additionally

Linking Words

, they

also

Linking Words

giving

Change the form of the verb

give

show examples

time

Use synonyms

and

thougts

Correct your spelling

thoughts

thought

during their period of service in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

workplace.

l.cahyatrianti

Mar 11, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but could be clearer in stating your position and summarizing your arguments. Consider revising them for clarity.

task achievement

Some points could be more developed, particularly in explaining why higher salaries are justified. Adding examples or further explanation can strengthen your argument.

grammar

Watch out for grammatical errors and punctuation. For instance, "belive" should be "believe" and "thoughts" is misspelled as "thougts". Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that transitions between ideas are smoother. You can use signposting language to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.

task achievement

You provide a clear opinion on the topic and attempt to support it with relevant points.

task achievement

The examples given, like the reference to football team managers, show an attempt to relate ideas to real-world scenarios.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Senior management
Salary disparity
Incentives
Income inequality
Organizational culture
Career progression
Employee morale
Compensation
Financial success
Decision-making
Responsibility
Merit

What to do next:

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Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than rural area. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that work is the most important thing in people's lives. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.