Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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some folks
belive
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believe
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that it is a proper thing for
high level
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high-level
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management ranks to have more wages than other
members
Use synonyms
in a corporation. I completely agree with
this
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statement as those positions
comes
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come
show examples
with difficult tasks.
Consequently
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, it
involve
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involves
show examples
a lot of
time
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and
thinking
Correct article usage
a thinking
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process.
High level
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High-level
show examples
workers are facing several complex missions regularly. Those positions
are dealing
Wrong verb form
deal
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with
more
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apply
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wider scopes than other employees which
also
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means that they are sacrificing the most valuable asset that they own,
time
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.
Furthermore
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, in some cases, the person who
fit
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fits
show examples
such
Linking Words
requirements is someone who
have
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has
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passed a long career steps.
For instance
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, people who have worked for a long
time
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in a company are the
members
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who
also
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deal with several corporation's problems in the past.
Thus
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, their dedication is
an evidence
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evidence
a piece of evidence
a shred of evidence
show examples
that
indicate
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indicates
show examples
their values for the company.
In addition
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,
such
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members
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allocate more resources and
thougts
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thoughts
in order to
leading
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lead
show examples
the team. It
happen
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happened
show examples
because
their
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of their
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responsibility
for
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to
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other workers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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followed their orders.
Moreover
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, folks
that
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who
show examples
fill
such
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fields have shown
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outstanding quality and match the workplace standards.
For example
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, managers in football
team
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teams
show examples
are responsible for
whole
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the whole
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team,
not to mention
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the hard
decision
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decisions
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that they have made.
Hence
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,
such
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jobs are not an easy thing to do, at least for some community
members
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.
To sum up
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,
top ranked
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top-ranked
show examples
employees are experiencing several hard processes in their
career
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careers
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.
Additionally
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, they
also
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giving
Change the form of the verb
give
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more
time
Use synonyms
and
thougts
Correct your spelling
thoughts
thought
during their period of service in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
workplace.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but could be clearer in stating your position and summarizing your arguments. Consider revising them for clarity.
task achievement
Some points could be more developed, particularly in explaining why higher salaries are justified. Adding examples or further explanation can strengthen your argument.
grammar
Watch out for grammatical errors and punctuation. For instance, "belive" should be "believe" and "thoughts" is misspelled as "thougts". Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that transitions between ideas are smoother. You can use signposting language to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
You provide a clear opinion on the topic and attempt to support it with relevant points.
task achievement
The examples given, like the reference to football team managers, show an attempt to relate ideas to real-world scenarios.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Senior management
  • Salary disparity
  • Incentives
  • Income inequality
  • Organizational culture
  • Career progression
  • Employee morale
  • Compensation
  • Financial success
  • Decision-making
  • Responsibility
  • Merit
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