IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A number of workers in the world face a problem relating to office hours that spend a longer
time
Use synonyms
to work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 at
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
companies
Add an article
the companies
show examples
 believe the working week
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
time
Use synonyms
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
 work in
order
Use synonyms
 to quality
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
Conversely
show examples
conversely
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of
companies
Use synonyms
 have a policy workers should have a longer
weekend
Use synonyms
 and should get a holiday. I strongly agree that
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 should
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a longer
weekend
Use synonyms
. Owing to office hours, the majority of the employees take the longest
time
Use synonyms
 to work. They spend
time
Use synonyms
 around 7 or 8 hours in 5 days.
In addition
Linking Words
, overworking
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 an
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on mental health. It influences
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
emotionally
Change the adverb
emotional
show examples
 employment.
For example
Linking Words
. When people were happy with his career, they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
created
best
Add an article
a best
the best
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 quality of production or highly
creativity
Replace the word
creative
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if they have
time
Use synonyms
 for
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
, they will receive
a new knowledge
Remove the article
new knowledge
a piece of new knowledge
show examples
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to make a new
production
Replace the word
product
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, if they do not have
time
Use synonyms
 enough for new
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
, they can lose a passion for creativity. Which means people will be
pressure
Wrong verb form
pressured
show examples
 by
time
Use synonyms
 or by
order
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they did not have ideas for working, and they
will
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not make a new production. In conclusion, the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer
weekend
Use synonyms
. It helps
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 to find something new
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and heals
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 mental health. When
companies
Use synonyms
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 a new product that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 created by highly creative, the
companies
Use synonyms
 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gain a longer
time
Use synonyms
 of
weekend
Use synonyms
 for
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 who
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 a passion in
order
Use synonyms
 to make a new thing.

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language
Improve the clarity and grammatical accuracy of your sentences. For instance, 'should be have a longer weekend' should be revised to 'should have a longer weekend'.
coherence
Use more cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. For example, transitional phrases like 'on the one hand' or 'furthermore' could enhance coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and meet the task requirements better.
content
You presented a clear stance on the topic and articulated your opinion on shorter working weeks effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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