IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. It has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the problems of international tourism outweigh its advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is undeniable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 is providing different opportunities and advantages to tremendous
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 around the world.
However
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, the concern related to
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 and local wildlife
due to
Linking Words
 the
conquences
Correct your spelling
conquests
 of
tourism
Use synonyms
 is becoming
hot
Correct article usage
a hot
show examples
 topic to debate. To commence with, there are a number of reasons for believing that
tourism
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 detrimental impacts on local
willdlife
Correct your spelling
wildlife
,people and
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the environement
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environement
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Firstly
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,
due to
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proliferation
Correct article usage
the proliferation
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 of exploration nowadays, local animals and birds are often forced to habitat in
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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 or under the influence of authorities.
Thus
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,
such
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 occupants
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not enjoy their surroundings
due to
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 cages and limited access just to attract
tourism
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, residents have to deal with
enormous
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an enormous
the enormous
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 variety of people from different cultures,
religions
Correct word choice
and religions
show examples
 and even though the languages which eventually
rises
Verb problem
raise
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 issues
such
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 as conquering language barriers and
inrcreament
Correct your spelling
increment
increments
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 around them and
lastly
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, tourists usually attain tremendous resources from
Use synonyms
environement
Correct your spelling
environment
while
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 visiting a place for exploring and
thus
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 harm the economy relentlessly.
Consequently
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, activities
such
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 as air travel,vehicle use, noise pollution, outdoor activities,
littering
Correct word choice
and littering
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 often have negative impacts on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the environement
show examples
environement
Correct your spelling
environment
 as well. To combatt
this
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 issue, informed decisions from
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should be regulated
such
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 as strict rules
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 recycling, dumping and not affecting surroundings at any
costs
Fix the agreement mistake
cost
show examples
 which will
avail
Verb problem
provide
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 society with a sustainable and eco-friendly
Use synonyms
environement
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Moreover
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,
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 should be limited to a certain limit and proper guidelines and principles should be set up for every place
while
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 travelling or
vistiting
Correct your spelling
visiting
despite
Change preposition
with
show examples
 local residents.
To conclude
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,
although
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tourism
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in rendering funds and profit for economic growth,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it is crystal clear from
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 testimonials that the negative impacts of it on local people and wildlife initiating disruption of living ways of life for them can oversee its benefits.

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Grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy, especially in subject-verb agreement and word forms (e.g., 'tourism has' instead of 'tourism have', 'consequences' instead of 'conquences').
Content
Add specific examples to support your points about the impact of tourism on local wildlife and environments.
Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your arguments. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and make transitions between ideas more explicit.
Task Response
Your essay addresses the question and discusses both sides of tourism's impact, which is important for task achievement.
Coherence
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps with coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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