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Writing Samples
Band 4

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.

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In recent years, the idea of shortening the working day to provide
employees
Use synonyms
 with a longer weekend has gained significant attention. I believe reducing
work-week
Correct article usage
the work-week
show examples
 enhances the ability of
employees
Use synonyms
, boosting
overall
Linking Words
 productivity and work-life balance, and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health risks associated with
stress
Use synonyms
 and pressure. On the one hand, shorter working weeks will benefit
employees
Use synonyms
 and companies for several factors.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the ability of workers will develop because there is more time for
taking
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rest
Use synonyms
, and when
employees
Use synonyms
 take more resting hours they feel more confident at work and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity will increase.
For example
Linking Words
, officers can apply to another course to add skills, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
efficiency will appear in the workplace.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, companies will spend less on operational fees
such
Linking Words
 as utilities and office supplies,
as a result
Linking Words
, the business will be sustained for a longer period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, sufficient
rest
Use synonyms
 is crucial for reducing
stress
Use synonyms
 and pressure. Chronic
stress
Use synonyms
 can lead to serious health problems, including high blood pressure, heart disease and lung cancer.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Japan
Add a comma
Japan,
show examples
 most
employees
Use synonyms
 smoke to relieve
stress
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 because they work with a tight schedule and a busy industry, which leads to lung cancer and disease. Providing
employees
Use synonyms
 with adequate
rest
Use synonyms
 time is a vital preventative measure against these health issues. In conclusion, extending
rest
Use synonyms
 days is essential for improving both employee and company well-being and workplace productivity. A shorter working week with a longer weekend is a necessary step towards a healthier and more productive workforce.

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task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are well-developed and fully elaborated to provide more comprehensive ideas.
coherence
Consider improving the flow between ideas by incorporating more linking phrases or transitions.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples that clearly relate to your main points, enhancing the overall argument.
content
The introduction effectively introduces the topic and states your opinion clearly.
content
You have presented a balanced view with arguments for both benefits to employees and companies.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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