Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that sugary food and drinks should be made more expensive to encourage

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to reduce

the

Change the word

their

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

intake.I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

view because high

sugar

Use synonyms

intake leads to an unhealthy lifestyle and causes serious health problems.

Firstly

Linking Words

, as the sugary eatables are expensive,

people

Use synonyms

are forced to introduce other

healtheir

Correct your spelling

healthy

alternatives into their diet.For compansiating their

sugar

Use synonyms

cravings, they consume food which

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

natural

sugar

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as fruits and honey.

Consequnetly

Correct your spelling

Consequently

, consuming

such

Linking Words

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of foods will not only

companisate

Correct your spelling

compensate

their cravings but

also

Linking Words

provide necessary nutrition which

are

Change the verb form

show examples

essential.

A research

Correct article usage

Research

show examples

done by AIMS

delhi

Change the capitalization

Delhi

show examples

revealed that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who use honey

instead

Linking Words

sugar

Use synonyms

and consume fruits like

apple

Fix the agreement mistake

apples

show examples

and

banana

Fix the agreement mistake

bananas

show examples

will be less affected

with

Change preposition

show examples

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

diseases because they are high in nutritional

values

Fix the agreement mistake

value

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

People

Use synonyms

who are trying

Fix the infinitive

to loose

show examples

loose

Correct your spelling

lose

show examples

weight now have another motivation to stop eating products which are high in

sugar

Use synonyms

For an

Change preposition

show examples

individual who

wanted

Wrong verb form

want

show examples

to lose weight, but can not restrict their food intake, are forced to cut down

sugary

Change preposition

on sugary

show examples

prodcuts

Correct your spelling

products

Additionally

Linking Words

, foods like

this

Linking Words

negatively impact the weight

lose

Replace the word

loss

show examples

journey of an individual because they are high in calories and fat.

For instance

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who aim to get a fit body

complete

Change the word

completely

show examples

cut

sugar

Use synonyms

from their diet. As

sugar

Use synonyms

is one of

major

Add an article

the major

show examples

things which is stopping them from losing fat. In conclusion, increasing the rates of sugary products will positively impact the lifestyles of individuals. As it will promote healthier choices and reduce health problems.

bodduvikas98

Mar 13, 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is important. However, it could be improved by briefly mentioning the reasons that support your view right away, setting a clearer agenda for the reader.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to proofread your work to catch small spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'compansiating' (compensating) and 'healtheir' (healthier). These errors can detract from the overall quality of your writing.

coherence and cohesion

Your body paragraphs contain logical ideas, but enhancing the connection between them would improve coherence. Using transitions and clearer topic sentences would help the reader follow your argument better.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, you summarize your main points effectively. However, consider rephrasing to avoid repetition of phrases used in the essay body for a more impactful conclusion.

task achievement

You present a clear position on the issue and provide reasons for your viewpoint, which is essential for a persuasive essay.

task achievement

You use relevant examples to support your points, such as the comparison between sugary products and healthier alternatives, which strengthens your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss hoth these views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that it is necessary to test new medicines on animals, while other people feel that this is not fair on animals and not necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.